Welcome to Episode 19: Why Patience Matters

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All right. Welcome to the Monday Morning Men podcast. We're on episode 16. Um Hope you guys are starting your week off right by listening to the Monday Morning Men podcast.

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I'm finding a lot of these guys like uh my friends are listening to like on Wednesdays. I don't know why. It must be just the day. It's just a side note. Yeah. I don't know why. It seems wrong. It does seem to be wrong.

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I mean, it could probably it's probably like low on their list of podcasts. That's probably valid. It's fair. It's like fourth or fifth in line. It is fair. In front of the other ones. We hope to be number one someday. In your life, please. In our life. Um today we're talking about patience and really excited about uh what we're gonna be talking about today. Guys, if you've got questions, if you want to reach out to us, info at mondaymorningmen.com. Um we hope that you guys are liking, subscribing, sharing this with somebody else. Learning what you're learning, listening to this is awesome, but doing it in community is that much better. So find somebody else that you can walk this out with. So that's my encouragement to you. Um, Thomas, let's do it. Let's roll, let's dive into this.

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So, so we've like um we will kind of have these you know heavy topics that we've been talking about and we've been building off of them. And this is gonna be uh this is you know, we're gonna be talking about patience, which sounds

Why Patience Is Harder Than It Sounds

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super basic, and and it is in its like thought process, maybe, but uh application is just as hard. Any sort of obedience you're just gonna learn is gonna be hard because there's always something in us that's gonna resist that. It's the it's the denying of our flesh that just wants to, you know, we wanna we wanna protect that. Uh we want to kind of give our body that comfort we talked about less last episode. But the reality is our growth needs to come from a place of you know, challenging what we're what we're working for and and what we're trying to do. So even though this may seem basic compared to what we've been talking about, I hope this challenges you and I hope it convicts you because this personally, I think patience is the hardest, you know, character quality I struggle with or fruit of the spirit. Amen. I mean, it is I'm probably the most impatient person you've ever met. Um, I just am. Like, I don't even know how to break that down. I'd like it's a statement, and it's to the point where, like, you know how you can say certain things like with your friend group, and they're like, oh no, I don't see that in you. Like, I just have people nod. Like, like they just they're like, I'm not even gonna lie to this guy, like, nah, bruh, like, yeah, you're impatient. Um, but but it ties in with we we we talked about suffering last week, um, and we use this verse, and it's the text that we're we're you know, basing this um this portion about. So it ties in nicely. I'm not even trying, it's I love how God, everything is interwoven in scripture, everything ties to something, you know. Uh you know, we call it a tapestry of grace at my house, and it's just like everything is he he connects everything that we're learning, he connects everything in our lives um to create a purpose. And this is one of those beautiful things. So we're in Romans 5, 3 through 4, and we read this last week, but it's

How Suffering Produces Perseverance

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so good. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings. Again, that was last week's podcast. Feel free to go back, listen to that one if you didn't. But listen to this because we know that suffering produces perseverance, or which is also defined in the Greek as patience, perseverance, character, and character hope. So in our sufferings, it's hopefully hopefully producing some patience in us. And we're gonna kind of define what that means. Um, and that so if you're growing in this embracing of suffering from last week, if you've applied it, you're you're you're embracing it, you're correcting some of your disobedience that you've tried to protect your comfort, you're loving on someone that's suffering. Um, as you're growing in that, hopefully this is producing some perseverance or patience that's going on in your in your life. Um, so since we're landing there, we're gonna kind of uh talk more about it. But I want to, I figured if we're going to come off of an episode where we quoted Tim Keller so much, we had to just do one more. Just let me, just one more, please, people. It says this Jesus was patient under even greater suffering for us, so that we can be patient under lesser suffering for him. Always remember that God's gone through way more than we even understand, that he he's relatable in that way. And that that suffering that we talked about again last week is gonna produce patience in us this week. And so, in

What Biblical Patience Actually Means

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that, we'll talk about its application. But in before we get to application, I really just want to define it. Let's define it for a second. And when I'm talking about patience, so there's three different uh patients referred to in the Greek, in the scriptures. They all though kind of mean the same thing. So I'm not gonna try to break down the nuances, but this is specifically the word that I'm breaking down is the one found in Galatians chapter five, which is obviously the fruit of the spirit passage. Uh they all have different applications because they're kind of referring to the patience that God gives, that God has, the patience we have towards others, the patience of perseverance, but they all essentially mean the exact same thing. Uh and it's really just self-restraint. That's what patient means. It means self-restraint. So, so well, long suffering is the definition. So there's that suffering where see how this all ties together. Look at this, isn't that beautiful?

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It's long suffering, which is suffering for a long time.

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A long time. Long suffering, but long suffering actually means self-restraint. And you so if you're asking yourself, and hopefully you've kind of tied this in, you go, wait a minute. So we have self-control in the fruit of the spirit passage and self-restraint, what's the difference? That's a fair question, and it's great. But but if you break down both of those understandings and understanding the Greek, self-control simply means controlling your inward desire. And then your self-restraint is trying not to control your external. So if I made it super simple, self-control, you say you're you control your internal, but you don't control your external. That's the difference between the two. So you understand that. When you look at scripture and throughout all the Bible, you need to understand that you are to let God handle everything that's going on around you, but he asks that you take stock and inventory of what's going on in your own heart. So self-control is an internal thing that you're focused on. You're like, I'm not gonna embrace fleshly desires, I'm gonna control certain, you know, things that I'm doing. Whereas self-restraint says, hey, do not try to control everything around you, but instead rely and trust on God, which is if you go back to that last episode, I don't mean

Why Men Struggle with Control

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to keep referring to it, but their sense of suffering makes you rely on God. Patience is a character of that. It shows you that, hey, I'm putting all my trust in him, relying on him. So in essence, patience is simply just not trying to control, which is why I struggle with it so much. And that's incredibly hard for us men. Um, I mean, we even know that a patient man is hard to find. Like it, like that's even a saying, like a patient man is something that is just rare. We're naturally, I think, uh, controlling maybe control freaks may be extreme, but I think just men as leaders, we're we're naturally controlling. Uh, Proverbs and even the New Testament have a lot of references specifically for men to be like slow to anger or slow in response or slow to speak. That that like quit trying to control everything around you, which is a outward flow of not having patience. Uh, but we're impatient because we want to be in control. And I know that's true for me, and it's probably true for a lot of you guys. But here's what the scripture says about patience and why it's important for us to have some of these things and and and to walk them out in our lives. Psalms 27, 14 says, wait for the Lord. We're not trying to control guys, wait for the Lord, be strong and let your heart take courage. Wait for the Lord. Repeats it twice because we probably weren't listening the first time. Wait for him. This is not us trying to control everything on the outside. We're gonna be patient with him. Lamentations 3.25. The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. Because we're trying to like the reason we're impatient is we're like, hey, we gave you a chance, God, and we we we gave you a uh, you know, a shot to go ahead and and do what you were supposed to do. I'll take over at this point. Uh uh this just came to mind. I think we referred to this maybe in episode like two or three. Uh uh, one of my pastors um was talking about this, and we were talking about being it was talking about being impatient. And it's this idea like Abraham when he was taking um Isaac to sacrifice Isaac to God, you know, God tells him to do this. Obviously, you know, we know that God steps in at the last minute. But here Abraham walks in obedience, right? He's being patient with God, climbs the mountain, gets the wood up early in the morning, they're carrying it, they get there. There had to be this sense of like where Abraham's like, God's gonna step in, right? God's gonna finally do something. But Abraham trusted through the entire process. I'm the kind of guy that would get, I would be patient initially, but I would get to the top of the mountain, be like, all right, I gave you a chance. I walked all the way here, dude. You had a chance to step in and stop this, God, and you're not. So now I'm gonna take over. So there's this sense of like, even with our waiting on the Lord, it's not like, hey, give him a shot and then step in. Like, no, completely surrender. So that just came to mind. And I I don't remember which episode that is. Maybe we can refer to it later, but I we talked a little bit about that. But like, be patient all the way, wait on the Lord. And then again, what is it? It repeats itself twice. Wait on the Lord. Scripture says that God will discipline those whom those whom he loves. A lot of times we think of that as like a spanking or a punishment. You know, we even talked about that last episode. It's like, oh, he's you know, discipline disciplining

How God Uses Interruptions to Grow You

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just means discipleship. So sometimes it is a course correction, but sometimes it's just growing you in something. So there's an element of truth that it is a as it is a punish, but there's also that element, it's just an opportunity for you to grow. But one of those ways in his discipleship, it's not even like this punishment, but in an effort to grow you in your patience, is that he will do it through interruptions. That's a great challenge for you as a man, like to know if you're impatient or not. One of my favorite John Mark Comer quotes, I I actually think he was quoting somebody else. So I don't remember. I just remember hearing this. But he said, How you respond to an interruption reveals your true character. Dude, I mean, like, there is nothing more frustrating to me than being like in the middle of something and someone interrupting me, or a thought process, or what I'm building, or and that can be like that can mean so many different things. So, like if you're listening to this, maybe you're like, maybe you don't respond in anger because you're in the middle of some of your kid just interrupts you, and that's a simple way to do it, and I will, but maybe something bigger for you. Maybe it's like, hey, I had a five-year business plan and it is not going well. God interrupted it. All of a sudden I have health issues, or there's a death in your family, or you had to move, or whatever it is, whatever you've thought you've tried to control your external circumstance, and then God interrupts it. I mean, scripture says that man can plan his ways, he's directing our steps, and then all of a sudden you're like, hey, I don't care for where my steps are going right now. That's an interruption in your life that God is allowing to be placed there to teach you patience or full reliance on him. So it will show your true character. Um, I would I would just encourage you to, uh, you know, when we'll get into when we get into the application, just think about what is an interruption in your life. Maybe write it down in a notebook and just come back to it later and be like, I'm actually grateful for this because it's teaching me this. But whatever interruption that is going on, try to view it as an opportunity to remove yourself from the pilot seat and give God back the full control he deserves. We should view this interruption, which could be suffering, right? In the moment, when patience is and should be developed. It's not fun, but this is where we need to be. Billy Graham said this God allows difficulties, inconveniences, trials, and even suffering. Wow, I did really good tying this in with last episode. I'm kind of just patting myself on the back right now, to come our way for a specific purpose. They help develop the right attitude for the growth of patience. The interruptions and the inconveniences and the things in your life is developing perseverance to follow Jesus and everything, to give him

Stop Trying to Control Other People

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back everything. So here's the application for you guys to apply and practice this week. First one is so easy to say and darn near impossible to do. Quit trying to control others. Ephesians 4 2 says this be completely humble and gentle. Be patient. Quit trying to control them. Like I love controlling people, and especially people in your small sphere. And I'm like, you're like, well, I don't control my friends. Maybe you don't control your friends, but it's like maybe you're trying to control your wife or, you know, your kids in a way that's unhealthy. But instead, bear with one another in love. That being patient with them is truly like bearing, like it's bearing with them. It's like, I told you not to do this thing, and now we're all paying the price of you being late. Like, I just like, whatever it is, like bear with them in love. Quit trying to control them. You want to know if you're patient or impatient, just see how much you try to control people, especially those you're closest with. And if you find yourself controlling, you're probably a really impatient person and you're not relying on God to teach them. Uh, you know, like I just know for myself that that's a hard one to do. The second one, same thing. Quit trying to control God. Uh I've referred to him a lot in the episodes. It's just, I, it's just where I'm at. So you guys are you guys can take it or leave it.

Stop Trying to Control God

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You listen to another podcast. Um, I'm not getting paid to do this or anything like that. But but Ben Sass said this in his um in one of his interviews that was so good. Uh, one of the guys asked him, he said, Are you angry at God for not answering all your prayers? And I just loved his response. And it's such the it's the biblical, doctrinally sound response. And he said, I'm grateful that I have a God that doesn't answer all my prayers. He said, Because if I had a God that answered all my whimsies and all my desires, that puts me in the place of God and not him. He says, When God says no, that means that he's in control and not not I. So when you understand and you're frustrated that God's not, you know, when you are Abraham and you're at the top of the mountain, you're like, you better step in or I'm gonna take over. Be thankful that he doesn't allow you to step in sometimes. Be thankful that that desire for you to control, because I promise you, him being in control is a thousand times better than you trying to take control. Yeah. Be patient. Psalms 37:7 says, says, be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him. Quit trying to control him. Quit trying to control what God is doing. Instead, wait. Like God's got this. And the way this is even worded, it's not a suggestion, it's a command. Like God's not even asking, hey, you should wait on me. No, no, no. I'm telling you right now, if you don't want to be outside the bounds of my covering, you will wait patiently for patiently for me. So if you're not getting some prayers answered, guys, take courage. That means God's in control. He's got this, and he's working something out better, even if you can't see it. You may be at the top of the mountain looking around, like, this is not going well. He's got this. I want you to listen to this uh quote from Elizabeth Elliott, whose husband, we've referred to her before, passed away, died for the died for the faith.

Why God Sometimes Makes You Wait

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You talk about inconvenience in her life, something that interrupted her. And he's she says this he makes us wait. He keeps us on purpose in the dark. He makes all of us when we want to run, sit, when we want to talk walk, for he has things to do in our souls that we are not interested in. Completely contrary to what you think or what you think is best. God may be doing the opposite because he knows something you don't. It's what makes him God and you human. And you're practicing this week as you pray and you're making your requests known to God, maybe ask for some forgiveness for where you've tried to control the outcome. I would repent on that. Like when this podcast didn't repent of it, we've all done it. So every guy can do this, or every person listening to this can repent. God forgive me for trying to control you and others. Don't cease in that praying because that praying is an outward expression of trust, surrender, and development of his patience. So, this prayer that I'm asking and calling you to do, continue to walk in it. His will over yours. This should be almost a daily prayer. When you thank him for all that he's done, make this prayer like, Lord, I give you and surrender right now everything to you. Make that a daily prayer. We'll close with Jesus' brother, James, one of my favorite books in the Bible. And we know this verse, it's the it's the kind of one of the top pinnacle of all patience, but it's something that I I figure he can walk us out in. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow. For when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. The reason, again, we've said this before, you don't need anything is because you've relied on him. I'm not controlling anything. And if he says that he literally is going to provide all that I need, I can be patient in all things. If we cultivate patience in our lives, it leads to full surrender, which leads

Subtle Signs You're Actually Impatient

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to spiritual maturity in contentment. Walk in patience this week. Those are my thoughts.

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I'm very impatient. What are some ways that impatience may manifest itself in your life that may be subtle? You said you mentioned like controlling others and like your lack of patience. What are some ways that you're not going to be able to do that?

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This is gonna be one that I was thinking about a little bit. This is gonna sound weird, but I think comparison to others is a way that you can actually view yourself as impatient. Because I could look and be like, well, Josh is at a different place in his life than me. So I need to be where he's at, or he needs to be where I'm at, or wherever it is. That's me trying to control something. Um because if Jesus is the focus of where I'm supposed to be, the only inventory I'm worried about is where my heart is with him. Does that make sense? So I think the first thing is like if you have a real struggle with comparison, I bet you're really an impatient person not surrendering to him. That's just the first thing. Um I think the second thing that you can do with impatience is like a lot of times that displays on a real minute level of agitation. Things are not going your way. Like you've ever woken up and you know when things are kind of going your way and there's a little pep in your steps, you're just like, ooh, yeah, things are going well. I think I'm I think I Lord willing, I have the maturity now that it actually kind of concerns me. I'm like, oh like it's going well. Yeah, I mean something's about and it doesn't mean we have to like worry that something bad's gonna happen. But I think the reason we have that think, thinking, at least I know I do, wow, I've hit some home runs today, and I've put myself back on the driver's seat, and he's about to pull me from that driver's seat and he's gonna course correct me. And it's a good thing. And like I know that I'm it's like it's like when you eat uh a cheat meal, it feels so good in the moment, and then you're just like miserable the next day. So you know it's coming.

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Yeah, yeah.

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Um, so that would be the other thing. Like, if things are going well for you and there's a lot of confidence that you're riding on, I would just go ahead and prepare your heart. Like, hey, God's gonna doesn't mean like it's all gonna go to hell. I'm just like, God's gonna correct if you if you're in the driver's seat.

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Yeah.

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As he should.

SPEAKER_01 20:10

Last year, almost exactly a year ago, last May, I was at a uh mastermind group that I'm at, and I presented on stage on just some shifts that I was making in my business, and I won the belt. Like they give these belts away that are like best presentations, people vote on you and all that stuff. So I was like, I'm the freaking man. Right, starting it. I've got it, I'm killing it,

Trusting God's Timing Over Your Own

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I've got it all together. And then it was I didn't even get on the plane flight home when I was looking at, you know, projecting some stuff. I was like, oh, this is not good. Like I went from I'm the man down to I know nothing, things are not going well, I gotta figure out something. That's right. So this is this is something very close, close to me. Like the the comparison thing, having to learn patience with the Lord's timing, because I think as a man, I think input, output. I do this, this is what's supposed to happen. And the only thing that I control can control is the input. God controls the output. It's I I build a house, I put it on the market, it sells, right? I I do this, this is supposed to happen. And when the outcome doesn't match what my expectation of what the input should result in, that's when I'm there's that wrestle in me of like it's it's just like the whole system breaks down, right?

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And so that response is going to show you where your heart has been.

SPEAKER_01 21:44

Exactly. So I think it's overvaluing, or there's some level of idolatry or something on the input of like I'm in control, I'm doing this when we need to release that control to the Lord. So it's good. I agree. I I have no thoughts on that. I you nailed it. Yeah. 100%. All right. With that, we'll close out. Guys, thanks for listening. Hope you're blessed by this. Send this to somebody who really struggles with patience.

Final Challenge: Practice Patience This Week

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Yeah.

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And if you're listening to this on YouTube at one and a half time speed, you're already impatient.

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Because that's how I do things. I'm at one and a half. One and a half is a little too fat.

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One and a quarter is my I can do one and a half unless they're like British or something. Then it's like, I have no what language you know, yeah.

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That's good. Awesome, guys. Please like, subscribe, share this with somebody. Again, do this in community with somebody else. Walk this out, take inventory of your heart, areas where you're struggling with patience, and be vulnerable with somebody else. Just say, hey, this is where I'm struggling, and uh walk through that together because the Lord really blesses um when you're doing it in community. So