Intro: Monday Morning Men Vision

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Okay, welcome to the Monday morning men podcast. My name is Josh Swart here with Thomas Dillinger, and we are trying to bridge the gap between your Sunday morning sermon and your Monday morning reality as men, fathers, husbands. Whether you're working for somebody, working for the man, or you have your own business, this is for you. If you've got questions, email us Mondaymorning Men. No, I'm sorry, info at Mondaymorningmen.com. That was the old email, uh, which has since been updated. All

Today’s Topic: Gentleness Defined

SPEAKER_01 1:00

right. Thomas, this morning we were talking about gentleness. Why would two very manly men need to be talking about gentleness?

SPEAKER_00 1:09

I've been described as metrosexual, so I'm not I'm not even gonna self-identify.

SPEAKER_01 1:15

I haven't heard that word since the last last decade. Someone described me that you wouldn't date yourself.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Someone said that. Well, the guy that said that was dating himself too, and said that the other day. He's like, You're kind of a metrosexual. I'm like, oh, okay. Oh, yes. All right, two mainly men, sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt.

SPEAKER_01 1:32

But we say we are not gonna be able to recover after that.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

No, that's focus, guys, focus.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

All right, we're talking about gentleness this morning. I can't wait to hear what you have to say about gentleness as a metrosexual.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

Yeah. I I we've talked about how like everything in in that we kind of as we're walking out the life of Jesus and the application of it, all the scripture is sufficient. Everything is going to ultimately point us towards principles and and ways that we can apply it. But if you want to break it down, it's amazing just to focus on the beatitudes and the fruits of the spirit and gentleness is one that is mentioned. Um, so yeah, I'm excited to talk about this. There's a few, there's a few times like where there are things that you're studying or things that you're thinking about or listening to that you're just um you're like, I want to, I want to learn more about this, and like it kind of just wets your appetite. I hope this this one does for you guys as well. Like, I really want to understand this more because if you I think if you approach scripture as just realizing, you know, we talked about last episode, God's word does not return void, and he doesn't waste words. We waste words, we'll say stuff and we tune stuff out. It's not informative, it doesn't matter. But when it comes to God's word, everything's so important. So you're like, there's no loss in digging into it. And gentleness is a unique word. And I thought we're Monday morning men, we're called gentlemen, right? Tongue in cheek a little bit with the pun, but there we are called that. I mean, even in society, this is what we're gentlemen and ladies. You know, they don't say gentle ladies. I mean, they're just ladies,

Why Men Misunderstand Gentleness

SPEAKER_00 3:09

but we're called gentlemen. Um, but it's interesting because this is uh such a high expectation for us to walk in gentleness, both as believers, but even in society. And it's one of those words that I think when we hear it, we're just I don't know. We kind of are like we have a simple definition to it. Like, yeah, just be nicer is kind of like as two manly dudes. It's like just be more gentle, don't be so rough and gruff or yell at my kids, which you shouldn't be yelling at your kids. But I think we oversimplify that word, and because of that, we start to have some misconceptions about it, um, which can ultimately have some you know consequences, or we're not walking in it. It's funny because this happened. Micah, Micah is my he's my thirdborn, and Micah's walking Micah's eight, and he's he's uh in fact, we were doing um Shabbat last night, which we'll we'll we'll do an episode on that. Let's do an episode on that later down the road, Josh. But we're doing it and and I bless the kids every night. And last night I blessed him because I just I said, You are he is it's I have a thirdborn brother who I love dearly, my brother Luke. He's one of my best friends in the whole world. I just don't think of Luke as a deep thinker, not like he's dumb, but it's just like not that Luke's not smart, Luke's very smart, but Luke's just like Luke just loves life coming at him. So I have this perception that that's how Micah's supposed to be. And Micah's a little bit that way, but Micah's like, I'm realizing my other kids are more like that. Micah's like just really processing, like he's trying, he's thinking deeper than I am.

SPEAKER_01 4:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

And so I just thought thirdborns were more happy go lucky, and Micah's just kind of not. And so Micah comes to me, and every time he asks a question, it's never, it's never just like an easy one. It's always like some last night the questions he was asking were like, dude, dial it back. But he goes, he goes, Hey dad, why do why do uh dads not love their kids as much as moms? Which I was like, I want to let you know. Like, I mean, he wasn't thinking of any other dad. I'm his only dad. Like he wasn't judging some guy at church. I was like, What? I'm like, dude, I spent so much time with you. I we just took a walk. What are you talking about? And I was like, Well, what do you mean by that? And he's like, Well, like when I fall down and hurt my knee, he's like, You go, get up, you'll be okay. And he's like, and mom hugs and kisses me and says you're gonna be fine, and she takes care of me. He's like, So why do moms love their kids more than more than dads? And I thought to myself, and I immediately obviously corrected his thought. I was like, son, it's not that I don't care for you. It's like I have a tough love. I want to see you grow in your toughness. Scraping your knees is not gonna be the worst thing in life. I was like, I'm actually doing it from a place of love, not because I don't care, right? We understand that as dads. But as I'm thinking about gentleness, he has a perception of gentleness that is incorrect. He assumes that there's a lack of love because there's tough love there. He's like, mom's being quote unquote gentle. This is a motherly quality, not something that we as men carry. I mean, so I would assume that Micah's

Micah’s Question & Misconceptions of Dads

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definition of gentleness as kind of if you're listening to this, you probably think the same. I mean, what would you define gentleness in that way? So, like how Micah probably did. Oh, yeah, like tender care and all those things.

SPEAKER_01 6:17

100%.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

I mean, it's a normal, natural kind of response. Soft hands. Soft hands, yes. Yeah. You're not handy, you're not handy, metrosexual. Like we get it. Yeah, exactly. Tender, right? And it's funny because like even when we listen to preachers these days, you've got the passionate, like fiery guys, and you guys have the more the soft spoken. And while we love, I love listening to both, and it stretches me in both. There's a part of you that's like, this guy's gentle, this guy's not. And it's a misconception. Gentleness can look like a completely different, you know, thing than how we even process it. But lots of scriptures calling

Gentleness = Power Under Control (Scripture)

SPEAKER_00 6:51

us a gentleness. We're we're in Galatians chapter uh five, which is funny. We were in Galatians uh, you know, six last week. So, like I said, Beatitudes, fruits of the spirit, and this is the fruit of the spirit passage, right? 522 and 23. But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control against such, there is no such. There is no law. So we're we're in the gentleness, and we'll we've covered faithfulness, you know. I'm sure we'll cover, we've covered joy, lots of different things in the episodes previously. But as far as gentleness, the basic doctrine of Christianity describes the qualities that we're to carry as Christians, right? We're walking that we're Monday morning men, we're to be walking what God has called us to. The basic kind of initial concept of this is found on the fruit of the spirit with the in the Beatitude. So we see throughout scripture, if the fruits of the Spirit are there, it's a requirement for all sorts of leadership, period. So gentleness being one of them. These are the qualifications. If you want to even walk as a leader in your church, it's you know, in your family, this is this is a requirement. It's the essence of who we are as men, we are to be gentle men. So even though I was tongue-in-cheeking about that, just think about that. That's who you are supposed to be, and when you understand the scripture. So, what is gentleness? Like, how is it defined in scripture as we understand that? We always have to define the terms because obviously my son Micah has defined it one way. How does scripture define it? The unique thing is that when we look at scripture and you even look at the Greek, it is uh interchanged with the word meekness. Now, meekness is an old English word, we don't really use it today. But meekness, I don't know about you, but some people like kind of misuse that and think of shy. So now we're really creating God's called you as a man, a a man who's taking dominion, who's to be manly, who's to embrace all the things that he's called you to do, and now you're meek and gentle. Like, I don't even understand that. But we go back to Matthew chapter five, which is where we hear the word meekness. It says, Blessed are the meek, they shall inherit the earth. You actually can interchange that, blessed are the gentle, and they will inherit the earth. So here's what's kind of really cool about

Meekness Explained (Matthew 5)

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this gentleness and meekness simply means power or strength under control. Power or strength under control. This idea of, well, you know, Thomas is this, you know, I'm not handy, I'm not manly, I must be weak, right? I'm not strong, I don't have strength. No, you're actually gentle is referring that you have strength and power, but it's under control. In fact, think about this in the way that I would encourage you to understand this. We would never even use that to describe something without understanding that there's power behind it. Like no one would ever hold a new baby and go, wow, that baby's so gentle. Well, no, because the baby is gentle. Like he can't, there's no power behind that baby. But we say things like, What a gentle giant, right? Or we say gentle breeze or a gentle flowing river. Yeah. Because we're describing something that we know can be the complete opposite. Yeah. Yeah. It's power under control. And we love that gentleness. How is that look like, you know, in our life? So if we're we're describing any sort of thing, we always are referring to it has power to be the complete opposite. Jesus himself, right? The greatest, strongest, manliest, he is the full essence of what we are attempting to let him walk out in our lives that we want to be as men, describes himself in Matthew 11, 29. It's the only time we find that he self-describes

Jesus Defines Himself as Gentle

SPEAKER_00 10:29

himself in the human form with an actual, you know, adjective to himself. And he says this, it's Matthew 11, 29, by the way, guys. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, which we're doing right now. Monday morning, men, we're learning from Jesus. We're walking this out. For I am gentle and lowly or humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul. We talked about humility in another episode, so understand you can walk, listen to this one in humility if you want to know how Jesus is describing himself. And if we're to be walk on this non-burdensome way, don't grow weary and well-doing, it's non-burdensome, and learn from Jesus, and he's gentle and he's lowly at heart, and you will find rest. Jesus is the most powerful man that ever will walk the earth that ever has. And yet we we think of gentleness as this inferior kind of you know quality. And yet he wasn't a coward, he was non-apathetic, he was strong, he lived in truth, he wasn't passive. So understand this is how he describes himself. Get rid of this idea that you know, gentleness is some sort of, especially in a weak church that we have now that's not standing on biblical truth, a weak church that's not standing for the things in scripture, it's easy to be like, well, those guys are gentle. You don't understand gentle. Gentleness, remember, it is power under control. Jesus is the supreme depiction of strength and power, yet he describes himself as gentle. I wrote that down, and it's something that I want to continue to remember. And as we try to mirror our lives after Jesus, to not fully take an account of what it looks like to be gentle, we rob. Listen to this, guys. I wrote this down. We rob the very quality that God describes himself as having, the quality he wants to display in us as men, the thing that he's trying to achieve in us. When we minimize that word or we don't understand it, which is why we're talking about it, you're stealing the quality of how we just how God describes himself and what he wants to develop in us. That's problematic. Realizing it or not, you're carrying an immense amount of power as a man. Even our natural fallen evolution, you know, agnostic world understands that men carry power, right? This is why there's this rise of the feminist movement. It's why they're constantly trying to, you know, bring us down with TV shows and our masculinity is being stripped away from us. I mean, I don't need you just turn on the TV or the news, you see this happening because there's there's evidence that there's power inside of us, God-given power. We understand we're leaders in our workplaces, our homes, our communities, our families. And we're being watched and judged as leaders with full power, right? People want to strip us of that power. And so what they're waiting for is that weakness that shows up. And the question, though, that arises isn't whether you're gonna fall. It's not gonna question, you know, are you a leader or are you truly masculine? The actual question that we need to ask ourselves in scripture is, are you gentle? The power is a natural God given that's birthed even in all men and all society. But here's what you don't want to. All men are somewhat born into power. I know that's hard to understand, but we are. You're a leader, you're stronger, you're physically probably stronger than most people in your family.

Application #1: Stop Being Argumentative

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There's this ability, we're naturally born into power, but you're not naturally born into gentleness. So are you being gentle? God requires it for everything in our lives. If you want to refer to kind of how it plays out as leaders, you can look up 1 Timothy 3.2, Ephesians 6, 4, and then 1 Peter 2.18. So, what does it look like to walk with power under strength? We've defined what gentleness is. Now, how do we walk this out? We're trying to be Monday morning men. Let's apply gentleness right now. Start out today, Tuesday and Wednesday. And the best way, I think, to you know, walk out our application is to paint the picture of gentleness is to kind of just walk through a few different verses and have three ways that I'm gonna kind of go over and then we can have some discussion afterwards. So uh Titus 3.2, right? And as we just so you guys understand the clarity, we're gonna walk out, we're gonna still continue to define this term because I think that's where our application comes from. If we understand gentleness and power, let's still continue to define it. So let's see scriptures. Titus 3.2, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, right? So here we've got some application here to be gentle and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. You can apply this right now today. You talk about being super easy to apply. I say super easy. It's super easy for your mind to understand this is gonna be hard to apply. Gentleness looks like not being argumentative. That's the that's just one of the applications. There's so many, and we're not gonna get to all of them, but here's a few of them. So gentleness looks like not being argumentative. Doesn't mean you can't have an opinion, doesn't mean you don't speak in truth, doesn't mean that you're not strong. Jesus spoke in truth, Jesus walked in truth, he didn't shy back from it. But argumentative is completely different. Doesn't mean you can't debate a topic, doesn't mean you can't have a differing opinion. What's inferring though is pride and an angry attitude. You can tell when someone's argumentative versus just having a difference's opinion. You can feel it like immediately. Yeah, I can tell I have friends that I disagree with, and there are friends that I disagree with that I will never talk to about things because you just feel it. And the other guys that we will argue, I have a good buddy, and I mean I think we just argue on the phone the entire time. And we love it and we have the best time. We love each other, right? It doesn't mean we can't stand on truth and disagree. But uh but an argumentative attitude usually is cut carrying pride and anger. Gentleness is one of those things that even if you're completely right or wrong, right? We understand we hold the entire power to continue to love this person and to still have an opinion or a thought to protect that relationship. So when you realize this, you'll even approach the situation, even if let's pretend they're completely wrong. You're completely right, you know it. The Bible says you are. You think about Proverbs 15:1. A soft or gentle, it's the same word, by the way, guys, answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. So this week, here you guys go. Your coworker, your customer, your, I mean, your wife, whatever. I mean, there's lots of different things. Whoever you're in a relationship with, it's as your flesh wants to rise up and correct somebody, and you want to put them in the place, doesn't mean that you can't do it in truth and love, but it's not in anger, it's not with attitude, and it's not with pride. It's always gentle. So application one, you're gonna be gentle in the way that you talk about your disagreements or you're clashing with relationships this week. The second application, it really applies again to any relationship, uh, you know,

Application #2: Giving Up Rights in Relationships

SPEAKER_00 17:06

family member, friend, whatever. But if you're married, this is gonna hit home. I know it hit home for me. Remember, we talked about the beginning that meekness and gentleness are interchangeable in scripture. And so, one definition that I love that I grew up that my mom would always talk about in gentleness is described as giving up one's rights or expectations to God. So when you understand that, if we think of gentleness as opposed, you know, in light of meekness, that if we're giving up our rights, which by the way, if we just even with your argument, I'm right, like genuinely right, right? This is giving up that and saying, you know, I'm allowing myself to be in a different side, and and I don't have to continue to win this argument. So if you have your wife right now, and it's easy to do this, you you think to yourself, we're having an argument, you clearly know you're right. You can walk in a way that's just like, look, we can disagree about this, but I'm gonna walk in love. I'm gonna be kind, I'm not gonna raise my voice, I'm not gonna treat you poorly, I'm not gonna say anything wrong, I'm not gonna demean you, I'm not gonna think of myself as superior, I'm gonna esteem you better as myself, better than myself. This is walking in true meekness and gentleness. Giving up your right to have your house, like domestic stuff. Like maybe if your wife is a stay-at-home mom, I know sometimes like I come home and I'm like, this house is a freaking bomb. Like I think that I deserve to have a clean house. There's nothing wrong with wanting it, but this is giving up my right. Or dinner's not ready. All of a sudden you're eating at 6:45. You're like, it might as well be breakfast. Like, I mean, you know, but you have this, you have this attitude. And then, or, or my me time. Like, I, you know, whatever you hey, I deserve to golf, you know, once a week. Look, guys, we're walking in gentleness, giving up your rights and expectations to God and for your family. So the third and final way you can apply gentleness right now is to your parenting. So I've given you kind of three different ways. We've gone from your external relationships outside of your family. You're not gonna be argumentative to your co-working, you're gonna treat everybody with respect and kindness. Doesn't mean you're not standing on truth. You're gonna give up all your rights and expectations when it comes to your wife. And then for your kids, we talked about Proverbs 15.1,

Application #3: Parenting with Gentleness

SPEAKER_00 19:11

that a gentle answer turns away wrath. We've already covered that. And the reason it's important to understand this is Ephesians 6.4, that you are not to provoke your children to wrath. So the way that this is working, listen to this. The way this is working, when we understand Ephesians, we understand Proverbs 15.1, they're actually scripture is putting them together. That this idea that the one of the ways that you're striving them to wrath is the way that you're responding. You're exasperating them even with your attitude. But instead, bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. So we understand we're not to bring them up in wrath, we're to have a soft and gentle answer, and that actually turns away wrath because of Proverbs, and we're to bring them up in the Lord who was gentle and home lowly. So he's humble, he self-describes himself as that as leaders, as men, as power under control, we're modeling Christ to our kids who's gentle and lowly. We understand that we're to have a soft answer and we're to be gentle in our response. Doesn't mean that we're not disciplining them, does not mean we're not, they're not rising up and we're growing them in Jesus, and that we're not going to just allow whatever they want to do in the house, but we're doing it and we're we're doing it in a way of uh Jesus, humble and gentle. I've lost my temper a lot of times with the kids. I cannot, I mean, if you probably ask my kids, it's probably like once a week, that it's like I'm constantly asking forgiveness. Like, hey, dad responded. That was that was not Christ-like, which by the way is a great phrase to say when you're parenting. That was not Christ-like because they're gonna they're gonna look at you and view Jesus the same way. And you shouldn't be like, hey, I just want you to know that's not him. Yeah, this is me. Um, but remember, we're doing this in a way that is just loving and it's kind because we're reflecting him and be feel feel free this week to quickly correct that behavior by asking repentance. Um, but gentleness, this is what 2 Timothy, and this is why I ref infer to that. Uh sec uh 2 Timothy 2, 24 through 26 says, correcting and gentleness so that it leads to their repentance. So when you're even doing this, when you're modeling Christ, your your kids are it leads them to a gentle, uh like to an actual repentant heart, which is what we're trying to achieve. This is what I love. This is uh Martin Luther, and we're gonna kind of wrap this up here with a few, you know. I love wrapping up with some quotes. Martin Luther says this the higher people are in the favor of the Lord, the more tender they are. What a beautiful quote. Yeah, you're you're walking in your sanctification. The closer you are to Jesus, the more gentle you'll be. That's convicting. Always reminding you guys, we're Monday morning men, we're applying these scriptures to everyday life. So I want to wrap this up with Matthew Henry, the goat of all Bible commentaries, probably. He says this the meek or gentle are those who quietly submit themselves to God, to his word, and to his rod, who follow his directions and comply with his designs and are gentle toward all men. This is what we're doing. We're applying everything to our word. You're already starting to walk out gentleness just by the fact that you're wanting to walk in your sanctification. So we're known as Monday morning men. How about let's be known just as gentlemen?

SPEAKER_01 22:18

So good. In Galatians 5, right after the verse right after it's talking about the fruit of the Spirit. It says in the in verse 24, and those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with all its passions and desires. And just the times in my life where I feel like my natural reaction is to respond, not in gentlemen. Just like that burning anger and frustration, whether it be at your kids or you come home and you know the house is a good thing.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

I can feel it right now.

SPEAKER_01 22:55

I know you just like, yeah. I'm mad right now. I'm angry now. But it's so analogous to just crucifying your flesh because it's such a visceral reaction that we all experience. What are what are some ways that you disrupt that pattern so that you can like bring that under control so you can respond in gentleness?

SPEAKER_00 23:21

It is hard. And and and I think one way that I do, and you know, it just depends on your family dynamic, but specifically with like my kids, um, is I give them per permission to hate, especially Lord willing, if your kids are safe and older. I'm like, if you see dad with an attitude that's and I'm responding, not that my kids are, you know, telling what to do, like, hey dad, you have an attitude. I'm like, I want you to be honest in this moment, to be like, you're giving off. Why are you so angry? Why are you so upset? And what it does is it checks my spirit right then because, like you said, I mean, I'm justified, you know, they really are disobedient, they're not paying attention, or whatever it is, now I'm angry. But for me in that moment to just even have that accountability, like, Dad, you're getting upset. It's like, well, oh, you're right. And it's a great opportunity, like, hey, dad's getting upset. Now I'm walking in my flesh, still gonna correct your behavior. You're still getting in trouble. Yeah. But it's a good place to, and and opening that family dynamic, not only for them to see you get that correction, but immediately turn on a dime with that, that it's a quick, just like I'm about to quickly correct their behavior, I can have my behavior quickly. So, you know, that I do that in my family. I I think

Real-Life Anger Test & Practicing Gentleness

SPEAKER_00 24:34

too, just something to remember. Um, John Mark Colmer gave this quote, and I do not remember. It was, I think it was some um it was like a uh priest or something that said this. He said, uh, and I'm paraphrasing, but basically, your true character is always revealed in your initial response. And that quick response, like who you are is is how you immediately respond. And so it's like, or when you're quickly, or where you're interrupted, actually, is I think they quote, when the moment you're interrupted, it shows who you really are. I'm in the middle of something, and my kids are interrupting me, or I'm in the, I'm like, what are you doing? You do I'm clearly in the middle of something. So it's easy, like that reveals that heart that just shows you that sanctification. But yeah, open it up to your house. Like my family dynamic, I am the authority over my kids. They don't get the freedom to be disrespectful, but they do have the freedom like, hey dad, just so you know, you're stepping out, like like you're getting angry and upset, and it corrects that behavior, and I can address it.

SPEAKER_01 25:28

You don't like you don't have to respond right away. Oh no, take a minute. 100%. I remember this is uh we were at Dollywood last year in October, and this is just a this is a story of me crucifying my flesh. Yeah. Um, and this is like this is like a new thing. So this is not the norm for me. But we were getting lunch, I was super hungry, and every line that we were waiting in was like an hour long, even the lunch line to get the food. And then by the time I get to the counter, it's just like the scrap leftovers of like I couldn't get what I wanted. I had to get whatever they had in stock. And I'm calling Christy, I'm like, Where where the heck are you guys? Because I I've got two giant trays of food, everything's stacked up. She's like, Oh, we're down here by the the Eagles. We're we've got a bench over here. And I'm like, I think that's like really far away. Why don't you guys just come back? Like, I've got I'm carrying two trays of food. Like, this is the lunch area, this is where everybody eats. This is where you return the trays. It's where there's napkins, it's where there's napkins and utensils and like water, yeah, all that stuff. And she was like insistent on me coming to the bench that they were at. So here I am, I get napkins and I'm covering the trays, and I have to walk it felt like two miles around the park to get to the spot where they were sitting. And it was like with every step, I was getting more and more mad that I had to like walk all the way across the park. And there's people, there's thousands of people there breathing on the food, and there's bubbles being thrusted into the air, landing on the food. Then I'm just trying to dodge, and it's just it's just like full of toxins. All I'm thinking about is that. And I was so mad. I was just fuming, thinking about all the things I was gonna say, the snarky remarks.

SPEAKER_00 27:22

Do you feel and it's just like it's not growing, it's not dissipating. It's like it's not oh no, you're just more upset.

SPEAKER_01 27:27

Yeah. And I I finally got to the table, and it took a long time for me to get there. And I put the tray down and I said, I'm just gonna go for a walk.

SPEAKER_00 27:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:38

And I took a it was maybe only five minutes, and it was like a a very real shift for me of just like praying through what I was what I was feeling. Lord, I don't, I don't want to blow up like this is just just the raw emotions that I was feeling in that moment and just bringing that before the Lord and being honest, and it was like an immediate shift for me. Like I didn't want to be the that moment that dad ruins vacation or dad blows up at the family because I had to walk with chicken quarters across across this entire park. But I've I've recognized that that really works for me. Just going for a walk. If I come home or if I'm dealing with something and I'm frustrated, I'm agitated, like just go for a walk and and take that time to pray, to cast your cares upon the Lord. Just bring it before him and like he can handle it. Every raw emotion that you're feeling, he can, he can, he can take it, right? And I find that that's the reset that I usually need to be able to give the response that is appropriate and then you know, not not be uh unchrist-like.

SPEAKER_00 28:44

I think, I think that we you're gonna if it would help just even as men remember, I don't care how angry or upset you are. Because I think when we think of gentleness, this is just like probably the most realistic practical application for us this week, is that even if they're apologetic, even if they're sincere and humble in their response, it doesn't make me feel better. Like I've learned that. Like it just doesn't. Like, even if I'm like, hey, you were right, I should have come, it doesn't, you're still angry at that point. Like you just realize that anger emotion. And if you realize that, because we get angry, we want to get elicit a response from somebody, and then we think it's gonna make ours feel better. And the reality is it's not. And if you remember that lashing out in anger is not gonna teach them a lesson to make you feel better, it's just taking that walk, processing it, trying, you know, and being at a place of where you're like, I'm gonna let this go. Yeah, that's what we all need to do. That's beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 29:30

Even with disciplining your kids, taking that tech, that time, a couple minutes, don't respond right away. Just and then go out to your garage or wherever, pray. Yeah, think of like a good way, a creative way to discipline your kids rather than just responding in anger, right? There's so much, so many great alternatives to just be like, Sometimes I even then like, like, you know what?

SPEAKER_00 29:53

Hey, I'm gonna let your mom handle this just for both of our safety at this point. You know, it's like, I'm just gonna step out, but just be strategic as long as you're thinking about it and processing it and realizing this is something you want to grow in. There's look, God doesn't make a mistake. There's a reason he goes in the fruit of the spirit, it goes from gentleness to self-control. He puts his words together. We're talking about we have power under control here. Yeah. Um, and that means crucifying the flesh, walking in our manliness, but in a way that is just like the heart of the father, that is gentle and humble. Awesome.

SPEAKER_01 30:24

Well, I pray that we all walk in gentleness this week and crucify our flesh.

SPEAKER_00 30:28

Can we just before you do? And here's the thing. I'm just gonna warn you guys because here's what's gonna happen. You're probably listening this on the way to work, or wherever you're listening. Somebody's about to cut you off. And you're gonna be like, that first test is gonna come. I just want you to know, even as like I was just see as I was writing this, literally just typing some things out on my computer, my four-year-old son was just like all over me, interrupting me, yelling. And I was sitting there and I was like, What? I I specifically asked you to not interrupt me. So, like, whatever you think, God's gonna give you opportunities to work on this today. So I don't want you to be surprised as you're listening to this that in five minutes your wife might pick up the phone and call you and she's upset about something, and it's definitely her fault. Yeah, like just understand you're listening to this. I I hope you you pray and think about this, but realize the test is probably right around the corner.

SPEAKER_01 31:18

Just be a man and suffer in silence.

SPEAKER_00 31:20

It's suffer in silence, suffer in silence. Carry your chicken quarters to wherever you need to go today.

SPEAKER_01 31:26

Yeah, cast your chicken quarters onto him in terroristry. Amen, dude. Uh all right. Well, I pray that we all walk in gentleness this week. Uh, if you got prayer requests, topics that you want us to talk about, uh, feedback, info at mondaymorningmen.com. Share this with somebody who you feel like needs to walk in gentleness. Yes. Amen to that. Uh, it's great to have accountability with people and be able to do life uh as a believer with other men. And so we'd encourage you to connect with somebody and um talk about it. So until next week, see you then.