Introduction: Who Is Responsible for Discipling Your Kids?

SPEAKER_00 0:26

All right. Welcome to Monday Morning Men. We are on episode eleven. This week, I think, is a good one. I'm I'm excited about this. I know this is a topic that you are really passionate about. Um, our goal here with this podcast is to bridge the gap between your Sunday morning service and your Monday morning reality. Thomas and I are both dads. We work, we have families. We have imposter syndrome. Multiple imposter syndromes. Multiple coming off of last week's episode. Listen to last week. Yeah, listen to last week if you want to know. Um we're just two dudes who love Jesus, love his word, and want to help you walk it out in a practical way each week. Uh if you want to get in touch with us, if you want to have uh dialogue, if you have questions, if you've got prayer requests, if you've got topics that you want us to cover, email us at info at mondaymorningmed.com. And with that, Thomas, what are we talking about today?

SPEAKER_01 1:26

We're talking about biblical family discipleship.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

Ooh, this is a good one.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

Yeah, and I hopefully just I want this one to kick some dudes in the butt. Like I think I don't even know what episode we're on. 10, 11, 12. 11. Yeah. So apply all things, walk in, walk walk in, you know, what we've given the scriptures saying to apply, but like if you could do anything, if I had one out of the probably the next year of episodes that you can actually do that I believe will be truly not only life-changing, but uh just it will change the dynamics of your family in even future generations. The impact of this application, you don't even begin to probably know or understand. Um, and that's not to say that the other stuff is not important. It is, everything's important, but this is one where I I hope men really can get behind because it is it's something that I personally have seen in my life. You know, you said when we work jobs, uh uh I do I work a full-time job, normal dad. I don't have no vocational ministry or anything like that. You're pretty not very handy either. I uh less than handy, the opposite. I mean, so there's lots of there's lots less than less than anything. Uh uh but the reality is it's just so you guys understand, when we say we're, you know, we're like you, we really are. But one thing I want to kind of give a little bit of backstory just so you understand the importance of what you can, the the fruit that can be in your life if you apply this. Um I want to kind of just let you know who I am first because I want you to embrace I'm willing to do this and to trust that there's like fruit at the end of the end of line. As men, we want to know like it's worth our time. Yeah. We just want to know, hey, this actually is going to lead to something. And all the other stuff, all the other episodes will, because if we're obedient to God's word, he's faithful to show us that it will have some sort of impact. But for this one, uh, for me, as far back as the generations I know, so I should just clarify my great grandfather, which I did know and have a relationship had a relationship with, so himself, full-time job and just served at his local church. His son, my grandpa, worked three jobs, served at his local church. My dad is the only one that has ever been in full-time ministry, and he still is. He was a landscaper at the beginning, but then got into full-time ministry. That's who Dellanges are. We're landscapers by trade. It's just like I said, laymen.

SPEAKER_00 3:52

I've never seen you mow your grass.

SPEAKER_01 3:54

Well, you have not been over this. I feel like I have mowed my grass quite a bit. But the but the one common denominator to just kind of know is that all those generations, faithful biblical discipleship has always been important to all of us. And even now I have a 13, almost 14-year-old son, and being able to pour on him, you know, what what God wants me to do and what God's called me to do. It's is like if you you ask my wife, what's Thomas's like goal when he even gets home, it's to disciple our kids. So, with that, there have been no divorces in those generations. We have, Lord willing, and we'll continue this trait, faithful to the end. We have finished the race well. Both my great-grandfather and my grandfather have passed. And I don't say all of this to just elevate myself or my family. Like, I'd be more welcome to call my wife. She'd be more than happy to let you know all of my faults because I have them. My kids would too, be like, Dad has got some issues. We're still sinner saved by grace. So this isn't to elevate, oh, look, you know, if I'm faithful in this, I'll have a Thomas. No, no, please don't create your children to be like me. Lord willing, they won't be like me. They'll be even way better. But the idea that you will have faithful men following Jesus, serving both in their church and their community, and a desire to love Jesus with their whole heart. Like if I can tell you one thing, I have many failures and flaws that I'm walking out that God is sanctifying me in. But I will tell you this I do love Jesus and I love him with my whole heart. And I know it's because of his grace, but he has used both my great-great-grandfather, my grandfather, and my dad and their faithfulness

The Modern Church's Biggest Family Problem

SPEAKER_01 5:36

and discipleship to ultimately bring me to salvation. So this is the fruit. If you're the first generational Christian and you're listening to this, this is the hope. Like you get to start something that could be five, six, ten generations. Multi-generational faithfulness has always been God's plan for us. If you are a maybe you're a maybe you're a dad listening to something like, hey, my dad was a Christian, but he didn't disciple me. You get to be the first. This is why I'm telling you this. You get to start something that's awesome, that will have impact long after you're gone, which is what we want. We want that lasting impact. Um, and this is the way to do it. Uh one of the examples I kind of give, my my uh my grandfather had died, and I'll never forget one of the guys came up to me. You know how like old people always come up to you and they think they know you even as a kid, and you're like, I don't know you, please quit touching me. And he puts his hand on my shoulder and he was like, Are you a Dellinger? And I was like, I am. And I just remember even as a kid, he goes, Well, you come from good stock. And I remember thinking, What did that mean? But as I've gotten older, for whatever reason, I remember had this memory. I'm like growing up in a family that elevated Jesus. When we talk about inheritance, we're not talking just in the terms of financial, we're talking about godly inheritance. And I have a godly inheritance and I come from good stock, and there's so much fruit. And even now, I get to pour into my kids. My mom always said she would change the world through her living room. Family discipleship is huge. Generational faithfulness has always been God's plan. It's always the way that He wants to orchestrate revival and reformation. So, in that, if we believe that family discipleship, and we're getting into why God believes it's a it's a huge deal and how it's his uh practice to grow our faith and and and uh to practically lead people to Jesus, hopefully the world and all the Christians agree, right? Like maybe we're we all believe that. That could not be further from the truth. We simply don't care. And what I mean like, and I'm not saying like, oh, we care and we're not doing it. We actually don't care. Um, according to this is Barna, by the way, which does lots of uh research and specifically with Christians, it says that 59%, just so you understand, 59% of all Christians, which again, this is a relative term, how how exact this is, but they say rough 59. So let's just say 60% of all Christians come from knowing someone in their family who was a Christian. So some sort of family discipleship, 60% of them come to faith. So you that leaves 40% for just the you know, street preacher, the evangelism, the coworker, whatever it is. Of those, just so you know, 68% of them were influenced by their mother. Right? So this is they were, you know, their mom talked to them about Jesus, that's how they were influenced. But only 46% indicated the father's faith. That's a problem, guys. This is Monday morning, man. So I'm probably have only dudes listening to it. That that's ridiculous, that number. 46%. And 37% said a grandparent's faith helped persuade them to become a Christian. So you uh to have men step up in a way. I mean, the the fact that you got to consider out of 30%, 37% of grandparents, that number's probably higher. They probably just died. You know, so like the fact that you're a father and you're only doing four, you know, less than half of you are influencing your kids to leading them to Jesus, super sad stat right there. We live in a world that's morally crumbling around us everywhere we look. Everybody has a problem. Everybody talks about America's falling away. The world is getting more and more depraved. We see that yet we will complain on Twitter, we will complain on Facebook, we will encourage everybody and their mother to vote. We will have to stand on biblical truths, we will donate to organizations, we will wear t-shirts to them, we will like them, we have no problem doing all those things. And I'm not saying those things are wrong or anything like that. I think you should stand, I think, on biblical truth, I think you should vote. But this idea that that is what changes the world, as opposed to God-fearing believers, people that just genuinely understand that this is the way that true reformation happens, is family discipleship and biblical discipleship. I how do we feel the freedom to complain about the world we're in when we're actually part of the problem? Actually, I would argue probably most of the problem. The world is born into its depravity and its sin. You have been given to see the through the glass clearly now, and you're doing nothing about it. It's easy for us to shift the blame in this area in different ways that why we don't do it, but it's time we hold ourselves and you know, men around us accountable. And if you know me personally, I will have no problem talking about this. I mean, I'm not gonna get up all of your business and just sit in your living room, make sure you do it, but I will bring it up because I want to be a walk-in conviction, because it's not because, oh, Thomas has got this figured out and he wants to show that he's better. No, I don't. I want to see you do it because I know it's transformed my life, and I want to see you transformed. I want to see your family transformed. This is a really, this is a huge deal. And it's just rare. It's super rare to see any sort of family dynamic where you're doing sort of biblical uh discipleship um in any sort of kind of way. But uh, there's this graph that Barna had that I have here, and I'll probably actually post a link to this uh study below in the you know in the YouTube video. But in this graph, they basically are asking uh Christian parents a couple of things, and they have very concerned and somewhat concerned. So as I go through these stats, I'm not gonna give you the somewhat concern because that to me does not matter. If you're gonna be somewhat concerned, this is what I would view as a lukewarm parent, which we know scripture, God spews the lukewarm out of his mouth. He has no time for, like he would actually either rather you hot or cold. Um, I listened to a Wes Huff podcast the other day, and he was saying that the opposite of love is not hate, it's apathy. It's lukewarm. I just mean maybe. Because at least if you hate something, you care about something else. You love something else. So I think that I 100% agree with him. And I think even biblically speaking, God doesn't love, you know, he spews the lukewarm out. So for us, it's like if you're somewhat concerned, I this graph, we're not even going to address that graph. So we're just gonna concern ourselves

Why Parents Can't Outsource Discipleship

SPEAKER_01 12:08

with the ones that are saying, yeah, we're worried about our kids, and we're worried about, you know, all of the stuff they're being exposed to and how we can change um, you know, change the actual rolling of the tide, quite literally. There are roughly one billion Christians in the world. My my my my my critical side's like, all right. Um I think that it's probably inflated. Who knows? That Lord willing, that's true. And there's roughly 8 billion people in the world. Um so, so in my mind, this is best case scenario, just so you know. To me. So this would represent a significant minority like in the global population, just over 10% of us are Christians. So if 60% of all Christians, out of the 60% of all the billion, 1 billion that are coming to Christ have come from an someone evangelizing within their home, the idea of you're fishing in a super small pond now, like the math is astronomically in your favor. The ROI on that is awesome. Whereas if you are the 40% who've come to know Christ through the other 7 billion, right? The 7 billion that are unsaved, I mean, you're looking at roughly just, and I'm no mathematician, but it's roughly 6% chance of you coming to Jesus. So that's kind of how like if you understand the breakdown because of how small that pond is, if you're doing that, you have like a 94% chance uh of you coming to Christ, it's coming through a saved family. 10 times more likely to your own family coming to Christ versus somebody outside. I'm sure somebody will correct my math below, and that's fine. And and and you are probably we were both homeschooled and didn't go to college, so that's fine. But either way, you can't argue with the fact that it's astronomically way better for you to evangelize in your own home, and yet we won't even do it. Mind blowing. So if we understand the weight of the responsibility of understanding what we're actually cultivating in our home and what the opportunity is there, and if we're to go into all the world and make disciples, right? Let's just see statistically. Let's see what Barna says. How much are we actually carrying? Here we go. This is the question that was asked. As a parent, how concerned are you about your child or your children's spiritual development? All US parents, so just regular Joe Schmoes, 37%. So non-Christians, 37% are concerned. Practicing Christians. So those actually going to church daily living out their life. So I would put these as like normal walking day, because they have, they have, we'll get to Christian parents in a second. Practicing Christians, only 51%. So you're a practicing Christian, you're going to church, you're doing all of the things that say you're a Christian, only 51% of you actually care about any sort of discipleship in your family of talking about their spiritual development. If you're a Christian parent, it's 42%. So just so you know, out of all the Christians, the 1 billion, again, I think we're using that term loosely, the 1 billion, 42% of them are concerned about their spiritual, their kids' spiritual well-being. 5% more than the world who are atheists, agnostic, or another religion. What a terrifying stat. This is I genuinely just, it's a kind of like a mind-blowing, you know, scenario. So as for like all US parents here, this is the next question. As a parent, how concerned are you about whether your child or children will stay true to their spiritual faith practicing? Well, at least we climbed to 58%. How is that not a hundred percent? Like, how is that an immediate answer? Yes. Again, I just I wonder at that point if your salvation is even real. All US parents are 38%. Christian parents are at 43%. And if you view as like actually non-Christian, which my understanding is like the way that this is presented, practicing another religion. So if you're Mormon or whatever, 26% care. So it's like either way you break down these stats and you can get on all in the nuances. I'm just telling you, basically, we don't care. That's all I'm trying to communicate. We think it's ridiculous. It's not worth our time, which is crazy. I I don't know if you're not reading scripture. I I don't know if I actually don't know. This is one of those things where I kind of get on my my, you know, step stool and I just want to shout out from the rooftops and just shaking, like, what are you doing? What are you thinking? Uh, they had another link to one of their articles, and I'll try to post it below, where Barna had stated that even in a practicing family, that you are 13% more likely to watch TV with your kids than to do anything spiritual in the whole. These are practicing Christians, by the way. So this stat is not just the Christian parent. Hey, we go to church. So you're normal, the people that go to our church, the normal people, which I don't watch movies with my kids. I mean, there's what, you know, I don't want to watch whatever Disney movie they're watching. We'll have a rare movie night as an entire family, maybe once a month. Yeah. Yet you are 13% more likely to do that than to even pray. And they broke down some of it, like just to even pray with them at a family meal. 13%. It's absolutely insanity right now. World's crumbling. Kids are walking from the faith at unprecedented rates. We're tricking them to try to get them back into church. Our churches are weak, the churches are shallow. And we sit there and we're like, how is this possible? I know how it's possible. And so does God. And if you open your Bible, listen to this. This is Malachi 4, 5, and 6. This verse here, he warns us if we don't take this seriously, God does. Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and awesome day of the Lord, and he will return the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers. Here we go. Lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction. Pass. And we look at the world and we're like, how are we where we are? And I'm like, he said he will, it says cursed is some translations, he will curse the land because you are simply not walking in discipleship with your children. God is closing out the the the first canon of scripture, the old covenant. And as he's wrapping it out, as he's as as Jesus is about to be ushered in, right? And he, and what does Jesus come to do? He's come to turn our hearts back to the Father, right? And this beautiful relation away. And God warns us, this is how he closes it. May the hearts of the fathers be turned to the children, and the hearts of the children

What Scripture Actually Commands Parents To Do

SPEAKER_01 19:02

to the father, or I love the King James, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse. Deuteronomy 6 is where we're gonna be. These, this is kind of like the um, it is the passage about discipleship. This is how it was done uh back in that same old covenant. This is what God commanded. Nothing changes, by the way, when we get to the new covenant, we'll get to some verses there. But this is really, really one of those things that I just, as the scripture washes over you, and we're gonna read all of it, that you just feel pricked in your heart. This is what he says. These are the commands, decrees, and laws from the Lord your God directed, directed me to teach you and observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to process. So here's Moses talking. Hey, here's a couple things you have to do. So that you and your children and their children after them, multi-generational faithfulness, guys. I just said that. Your children and their children after them. That's why I gave you the example of my life. Them may fear the Lord your God as long as you live, by keeping all of his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy a long life. Hear, Israel, and be careful to obey, so that it may go well with you, and that you may increase greatly in the land flowing with milk and honey, just as the Lord, the God of your ancestors promised you. You receive blessing, guys, when you walk this out, by the way. One leads to the land being cursed, the other leads to blessing. Hero Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commands that I give you today are to be on your hearts and press them upon your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, and when you lie down and when you get up, tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates. Real quick here, it's so funny. I see all these like um, I don't know, TikTok, like a like a YouTube short or something where like people write scripture verses on that as our house is being built, which I think is cool, and I'm for that. They'll apply verse nine, but we'll just skip seven and eight, like it doesn't exist. We'll make a viral video of us writing our big, beautiful house and all the verses that are in the studs, and then won't do it once the house is built. Yeah. What a terrifying reality we live in here in America. So essentially, when you read that scripture, when are you to teach and disciple your family? All the time. Not some of the time, all the time. I had this epiphany the other day. We were listening to an audiobook, uh, some of my buddies wrote. It's called Miracle at Shreveport. And I'm I'm good friends with their dad. And we're uh I've also referenced as a family. We we've been reading uh 10 P's in a pod, which if I can encourage every person, buy that book. And if it's not in print, I will ship you my book. Just send it back. Read 10 P's in a pod because it will convict you so greatly. But one thing I realized about that dad, about my my buddy Flip and the way that he parents, I had this epiphany with my wife. When the kids and I were doing some stuff, she looked at me and she goes, You know, every time you talk to the kids, it's a lesson. She's like, Every time it's just like Like it's a lesson about something. And she wasn't being unkind. And I thought about it and then I was like, it is a lesson. And then I connected the dots as we listened to Miracle at Shreveport, flip every chance he got, looked at the boys and was explaining something to them. Here's what this is doing in our culture. Here's what we need to grow in. There's an example of where he took him to a movie and there was an application after the movie. Like everything has a purpose and a way that, like it was discipleship all the time. Tempe's in a pod, this man reading scripture and applying scripture all the time. And I look at even my dad, my dad was that way. Every opportunity, he would ask, we'd get in the car, you know, what did you learn? What why is this important? How do we apply this? This is just the way I grew. Monday morning men is birthed out of the way that I grew up because this is the way that all the men that I love and respected are wired. We are trying to disciple all the time. Everything is a lesson that we can grow in. So this is important for us to understand. When you when you learn this and you embrace this scripture, you're willing to disciple every single ass, every single second. And I can't wait. He gets in there with three points. He's just like, he's like, I got it written now because dad's gonna ask. And because I'll be like, why'd you waste your time this morning, right? But in your Bible and Deuteronomy 6, I'm willing to bet there was even like that, like you know how they have sometimes those subject lines before you get in the scripture. The subject line for most of the Bibles is loving the Lord your God. And the reason that I want to bring that up is that he even said that in the verse, love the Lord your God, and then he gives discipleship. Loving God, if we want to prove it as men, like, hey, Lord, we love you, right? You will disciple. This is one evidence of your love for Jesus. Family discipleship is a reflection of our true love and devotion to God. This is John 21, 15 through 17. And this is why we were we're gonna jump to the new covenant now. Jesus is here. If you love me, right, we're gonna disciple when they have finished breakfast. I mean, Jesus is gonna go after Peter first thing in the morning. Jesus said to Simon Peter, so obviously Jesus, intermittent fasting, not a thing. All right, Jesus said to Simon Peter, I'm getting off track. Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these? And he said to him, Yes, Lord, you know that I love you. And he said, Feed my lambs. Sixteen, he said to him a second time, Simon, son of John. I I don't think it's lost on me that he keeps calling him a son of somebody. Son of John, do you love me? He said, Yes, Lord, you know I love you. He said, attend to my sheep. 17, he said to him the third time. I mean, at this point it's redundant, right? Simon, son of John, do you love me? Peter was grieved because he had said to him a third time, do

Why So Many Young Adults Walk Away From Faith

SPEAKER_01 25:24

you love me? And he said, Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you. And Jesus said to him, feed my sheep. You sit here and you say you love Jesus and you refuse to disciple your family, or you don't do it, I I question how deep that love is a little bit. Wow. If you love me, feed my sheep. The word phrase uh is translated the same way in in regards to um the way that it's broken down, but they have there's slightly differences in the actual Greek text that I want to highlight for you because it's really important that we understand this scripture. And and just like if we're if we're building this kind of uh uh foundation of how seriousness uh the seriousness of this issue is, it's important that we understand all terms. So verse 15, pasture, the word tend, the lambs, it's kind of even a reference to spiritually young, young kids, new converts. See, Jesus is covering his basis here. And verse 16, right? So he you're tending the lambs, then you're tending the sheep. And there is a difference in the Greek. We can always say, feed my sheep, feed my sheep, feed my sheep, but he says, tend my sheep. It places you in an area of spiritual authority. Man, you are priest of your home. You are the spiritual authority in your home. So you are, as the spiritual authority, obligated to do this. On verse 17, the tend my sheep. So no more now, it's merged the two. It was tend the lands, then it was tend, right? Then it says tend the sheep. It's pasture the sheep now. So it's gone full circle. It's encompassed the first two premises to give a conclusion. Pasture the sheep. Here, God is defining your role. You are to take care of your flock, you are to lead both the spiritually young and mature. You are to lead them both an example, example, and practical teaching to grow your family in the fullness of what he's called you to. It he he he covers all of his basis and then tells you then you need to do it. The third time, he's like, I'm wrapping something up here, uh Peter. You're gonna you're going to feed both the young, the new, the old, the mature, and the immature. And as the leader in your home, I don't care if you have an 18-year-old or you have a two-week old, you are to feed the sheep. Tend the lambs, tend the sheep, then pasture the sheep. There's another question that has to be asked. And the reason I'm asking this is because it happened to me the other day. Um, are you ready to give an answer? If you're not doing family discipleship, then I have to even wonder your conversations with your kids. We were on our way to a Hornets basketball game. I was not talking in the car, and it was complete silence. And my my one son was listening to music, and the we were listening to music, I guess, in the car, and my son's just in in the song. But my other son, Micah, is in the back, he's eight. And we're 15 minutes in the drive, not a word has been spoken. That's a long day. And he goes, Hey, dad. Like, yes, son. How do we know that he's the true God? And you're just like, bro, we are gonna go watch the Detroit Pistons play, the Hornets. Like, what are you doing? We have like eight minutes left until we're in the parking lot. But the but the reason I challenge you is this Lord willing, if you're developing kids up in the you know, admonition of the Lord and you're growing them in godliness and you're showing them the light of Jesus, these questions should be normal in your house. And if we believe 1 Peter 3:15, right, that we are to give an answer for the hope that is within us, are you ready to give that answer? Because if you're not studying the word of God, if you're not in your own discipleship and tending to your flock and not growing, are you even ready to have that conversation? Are they not asking those questions because it's not regularly brought up? Yeah. If you're not, if you're not cultivating family discipleship, your kid's not asking questions like that. They're gonna ask you questions about stuff you care about.

SPEAKER_00 29:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:26

Or or what they think is important. When are we, you know, what movie we're gonna see next about our sports teams? And I'm not saying you don't have normal conversations, you didn't have to be super uper spiritual, but you've allowed no, no ability for this to happen. In fact, God knows that this is something that should be taking place in your house. So we just started in Deuteronomy 6. We read up until verse 9. If you jump down in the passage to Deuteronomy 6.20, listen to this. In the future, when your son asks you, what is the meaning of the stipulations, decrees, and the laws the Lord our God has commanded you? God's going, in the future, you're ready to give an answer. That's going to happen. When your son asks these questions, are you even ready to give an answer? And I'm willing to bet no, or you're you're probably not having those conversations because verses seven, eight, and nine are not happening.

SPEAKER_00 30:20

And if you're not able to answer those questions to your kids, what makes you think you're going to be able to answer to those who've asked you of people in your same age group or at work or whatever environment that you're in?

SPEAKER_01 30:30

Exactly. And I'm not saying you have to like know the exact answer. There's some things I look at my kids and go, I don't have a really great answer, but you're challenging my faith. Let's learn it together. Yeah. Now here's an opportunity to spend time with my kids, disciple my kids. They get to see my humility and grow in it. But then they also can see the importance that it has with me. If I blow it off or if it's not being talked about, it's just not important to me. Men talk about what's important to them. We just do. Yeah. And so this gives us an opportunity, opportunity to talk about what should be the most important thing, which is Jesus in our life. I hope everybody's feeling like really beat up right now. I mean, I'm feeling a little convicted. I I hope we're all uncomfortable. I mean, and I'm not walking this out perfectly. I just, and I'm not saying that to just like lay this out in false humility. I really like we can be doing this more. This 10 P's in a pod book, just so you uh like, as you guys know and as you're thinking about this, like there's always someone ahead of you. And we have been doing really good as a Dellinger family. Like there my wife does family devotions, she's so you guys know, in the morning, and she does scripture memorization, and then I do family devotions at night. And I'm like, we're kind of killing it. We're reading this book, 10 P's in a pod. He makes all of his kids read the Bible for an hour every morning,

Common Excuses Fathers Make

SPEAKER_01 31:46

and they do family devotions after breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and then a lot of times at night. The guy had the stats down. I don't remember. I have to pull them up. I'll have to link it below. Sometimes I forget the links because like this book was just he the the oldest son, and I've referenced this before the oldest son had memorized the entire New Testament by the time he was like 17 or 18 because of the amount of not intentionally memorizing, just because the amount of reading that they did and studying and family discipleship. So if you sit there and you're like, wow, Thomas is like a super Christian. No, like that is super Christian. You know, like that's unbelievable the amount of discipleship. But may we all try to just aspire to be a little bit better. Yeah. Right. And so here's some ex some things. Don't be overwhelmed. Start somewhere. Think of this as like the gym. Like you're sitting there and you're gonna go, you know, I need to lose some weight or I need to get in the gym. Start somewhere. So here, here's kind of some practical stuff that we can do right now. It's Monday morning. Do it tonight, guys. Like, do it. Here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna just simply read the scriptures every day as a family. So when you, when I say family discipleship, when I when I talk about uh family devotion specifically, here's a simple way we do it. Sometimes I just open up the scripture and I read. That's it. I read. Sometimes I'll expound on it. And I would encourage you as you grow in it. I would say now, because we've been doing family devotion since my son was born. I rarely just read it. I have to just expound on something. But if you are not comfortable, start reading. The word of God says it's living, it's active, and it's moving and it's breathing. This is the word became flesh, John 1.1. You have to trust, and you go, uh, I I can't fully explain it. You have to trust that even the word of God just being spoken in your house is impactful. Or you go, well, I have a two-week-old baby. Why would you not read scripture over that baby? You know, like they even say like playing classical music is helpful to a kid's development. Why would you not simply read scripture? And then uh what we do, just because I'm gonna give a full context. Like, I'll give you an example. We read scripture, we do, you know, I discuss it. There's some sort of dialogue. I encourage you to even have like even a short devote, like semi-devotional. We've got a few different ones in our houses. Uh, right now we're working through Ray Comfort, has this little Oswald chamber like 365 days. We just read that day. It takes two seconds, but it's just if whatever we're reading, maybe if the kids don't always remember that, there's a little application in there too, something kind of just something for them to think about. Yeah. And then we always try to read a uh um a missionary story or some hero of the faith. Um the uh there's some books that I'll I'll try to reference this either on the website or or on um down below. But right now, like we're we're almost done. We're getting through the 10 piece in a pod. You know, it just takes some time reading out loud, and we only read for about 10 to 15 minutes, but it's growing our faith to see the faithfulness of another family. Remember, it says by the word of their testimony, they were able to overcome the evil one that's found in Revelation. And because of that, we want to encourage our kids to grow in faith and to hear examples because that will come to their mind. We've read George Mueller's bio uh autobiography, like whatever it is, find something and then read that to your kids. So that's super simple. It takes 20 to 30 minutes. You you can't, I would encourage you to like relax about it. You can be flexible. Sometimes, like I'll give you an example. My wife is leaving for out of town later today. So when I get home, I will be doing devotions in the morning because we'll fit it in because you won't be home. So be flexible in that regard, but but realize like it doesn't have to be set. Sometimes, dude, we've had a long day, or I don't have the energy. I just read a verse, or not a verse, I like a chapter. Some nights we have the energy, and maybe devotions are 45 minutes to an hour, and sometimes they're nine minutes. It just needs to be done. Like, just start and do it. Yeah, like you don't have to go to the gym and work out every machine, but sometimes taking a 30-minute walk or whatever you need to do to just do something. Um, the other thing I would encourage you is teach your kids to start to memorize scripture. So, Mary in the morning, she kind of follows the same format. She does a small little kids' devotional. She has a little kids' devotional books that she does. Um, it's, you know, super simple. It's all the great stories. So I'm reading, we're reading through Romans right now as a family, which is like eating a thick steak. So the kids are like, thank goodness mom's doing something easier that that's able to understand. She does that. She then reads, we get the voice of the martyrs magazine, and she reads a story from there from the kids. And then she has the kids memorize scripture. Um, and my son is four years old, and he's got I don't know, I think three-fourths of the way of uh First Corinthians 13 memorized, and he's four. And you go, before you look at him and go, Wow, that's so impressive. Look, that cat can quote an entire episode of Dino Dan. Like, like our kids, like, and I'm they're capable of a lot of people. There's so much, and your kids probably can quote stuff, and you're like, wow, it no, the only reason is because you've given time to that, you've not given your time to family devotions. My kid is not smarter than your kid. My kid is not more impressive. It's the priority in which we've set. And I already know that you're 13% more likely to watch TVs with TV with your kid that actually do devotions. So don't be impressed, be motivated to just simply do it. Other thing I would do, pray together. Um, one thing, and I think I said this in the prayer episode, I don't force my kids to pray.

"I'm Not a Teacher" — Overcoming Insecurity

SPEAKER_01 37:21

I do make them read the Bible. Prayer is an intimate relationship with with God, and and I'm not gonna fake that. Whereas I know the live of the word of God is living and active and breathing. So even if they read it, it's having some sort of impact. For them to just fake a prayer uh or to not mean it is I I don't see it profitable. I believe most theologians agree with this, but um, so for them, I open up, Mary opens up in prayer, I go, whoever wants to pray, I give space, and then I close it. The other thing is uh serve together, both in your church and in your family. So discipleship, I'm big on family devotions. That is the easiest, most practical thing to do. But if you're to talk about them when you lie down, when you uh rise up and when you walk by the way all the time, a great way to do that is by serving, to be able to explain. And one way you can do it is by putting your kids in situations to explain something, why we do this, why we believe this, or this is why we're serving, and get to love on people. You have every opportunity to disciple your kids. And if you're feeling like your life is monotonous and mundane, you get to change the world, literally the world. This is God's blueprint for how reformation happens. Everybody wants revival, everybody wants, you know, these great moves of God, and God's like, I've given you the blueprint, and it's not a tent meeting with 3,000 people there. Yeah, but it starts in the privacy of your own home, and we refuse to do it, and yet we wonder why God's not moving. I love to quote, uh close with some quotes. Jonathan Edwards, um, which by the way, I would love to find this story. Uh well, I maybe I'll tell that story when we get into hospitality, but Jonathan Edwards, who who who preached some very intense message, messages, said this every Christian family ought to be as if it were a little church. And the reality is, is it's not. Church is on Sunday, and you segregate that is to something different, and it's not practiced in your home, but your home should operate like a church, it should be constantly filled with scripture, singing, prayer, exhortation, and serving. Matthew Henry, we've quoted Matthew Henry, he's got the one of the greatest commentaries on scripture. Um, he said, in regarding family worship, here, talking about family worship, here the reformation must begin. You want to see America change, you want to see your churches change, quit finding new churches, quit trying to vote. I mean, vote, but I'm just saying, quit trying to think that that's your impact. Start by discipling your family right now. Yeah. This is the lasting impact on your family. I'm five generations in, and Lord willing, my son is being, you know, brought up in Jesus and loving Jesus, and that he'll tell his son one day, and that the Dellinger fruit will have everlasting impact simply by family discipleship. We're not smart guys, we're laymen, we work normal jobs, we're landscapers, we're not super rich, we just normal dudes. However, the success to our life and the godly inheritance and the reformation that's begun in us, we pray will change the world simply by doing family devotions. This is something you can do this week.

SPEAKER_00 40:46

And you can't relinquish this responsibility to the church unless you're reading another Bible that I don't know about. Yeah, it's never you can't just expect children's church or youth group or Wednesday night or whatever to be your kids' discipleship because it's just not. It's good. It is good.

SPEAKER_01 41:04

I'm always thankful that there's an environment for my kids to go where God's glorified and it's in a safe environment. So I'm I'm for your kids going to Wednesday nights or whatever night your I wanna's or whatever you're doing. But if you think that's discipleship, which if you read in Deuteronomy 6, it says it gave you the responsibility as a parent, and then it's it all the time, not just one night on a Wednesday night and someone else.

SPEAKER_00 41:23

Yeah, you want to talk about hypocrisy just coming off the last episode, sending your kids there and not practicing it in your own home.

SPEAKER_01 41:30

Well, well, the thing that the reason I believe so I think it right now, I don't remember the last stat I read, this was years ago. It was like 78% of all 18 to 30 two-year-olds walk away from the faith that Barna had out. And I could try to find the correct stat. And the reality is like we we do trust that God is sovereign. Look, at the end of the day, your kids get the freedom and the choice. We just need to be faithful on our part. And we wonder why kids think that Jesus' love is not real, that his love is not transformative. Because all you do is you take your responsibility, you give it to the pastor, and you say, uh, I hope you raise my kids right and and and they follow Jesus. And then you go home and you do nothing in your life to even act like Jesus is present in your home. You've got a few verses on the wall, or you know, you watch uh facing the giants. And that's not a knock on facing the giants. I'm just saying whatever Christian, yeah, whatever Christian movie, and you think, or I listen to Christian contemporary music. I'm so sorry. That is not that's not discipleship. Like it's simply not. And so for you to wonder why your kids don't believe when you say, Hey, God is great to me, and they're like, prove it. You've done nothing to do it because your kids will see what you prioritize. My kids can tell you, right, if you walk in my house and you can ask my sons, what does your dad love to do without missing a beat? He loves watching sports. I love watching sports because they see me do it. So if you walk into your kids, does your dad love Jesus? Oh yeah, he's constantly talking about do won't shut up. Like, is that what's happening? Is your dad prioritizing? You've prioritized the gym, you prioritize eating healthy, you prioritize family vacations, you prioritize everything, but this very simplistic, God-giving command for you to do and to apply, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse. And you're just like, meh.

SPEAKER_00 43:21

Why do you think that most men families shy away from stepping into family discipleship?

SPEAKER_01 43:30

Lots of reasons. My, my really um, I want to say this so carefully because I if you're listening to this, Lord willing, this is not you, but there is a high suspicion. I wonder how real your faith is. And I don't mean like as dramatic as that sounds. It's not that like when we even said the somewhat care. I'm putting those guys, the somewhat caring guys, in that in that stat. Um I think the ones that that do care and that maybe are not, I think there's a uh it's never been shown to them. It's never been modeled. So in their mind, they're just like, I never saw it, so I just didn't know. I had one guy tell me that he goes, You said that, I agree, and he wants to do it now. But he's like, to be fair to me, not to be fair to him, but he's like, But essentially, I didn't have a dad in the home. I didn't know. So for some guys, it's truly just they weren't discipled. There, it's not uh fortunately, it's not modeled or talked about at church, which is mind blowing to me. Mind blowing. But For uh for some guys, it's maybe they just don't know, but but you're without

How Family Devotions Build Stronger Faith

SPEAKER_01 44:31

excuse at this point, guys. Like now you know.

SPEAKER_00 44:33

Do you think there's some level of insecurity as far as like oh for sure, maybe they don't feel like they're a theologian or they're not studied well. And so how am I gonna be able to teach them if I'm not?

SPEAKER_01 44:43

Great question. Yeah, I have one guy, he's like, I'm not a teacher. That's fine. You don't have to go to seminary for this. I didn't say that. It said parents. Yeah. It didn't say the Levites, it said parents. And you you have to remember you, you're, you're giving, you're, you're giving yourself not an like you're not giving enough credit, not in the sense of like your knowledge base, but remember that if the word of God is active and breathing, like it's not for up to you to explain everything and to control everything in that environment. It's to facilitate that environment. So opening up the Bible, you don't have to, there are things in scripture I still don't understand, but I I still open it up and I read it, and I trust that there's going to be some sort of revelation either down the road or that God can speak something. God will use verses in scripture that you may take a different way than I'm like, oh, I never thought about that. Opening the Bible and just reading that. That's why I don't want you to be overwhelmed, like, well, I have to explain to my kids, you know, the Trinity. It's like, maybe don't bite that off. How about just work through the Sermon on the Mount?

SPEAKER_00 45:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:42

You know, be be porn spirit, be meek. What does it mean to be meek? Love others. Like, I mean, super simple stuff, but cultivate it with the emphasis on scripture. And I'm telling you, it will be life-changing. You'll even develop, just so you know, what I've watched even with my kids, you will develop critical thinkers in your home without even realizing it. Because my kids immediately are like, wait a second, is that in the Bible? Or your kids will immediately ask questions. As an example, I have my daughter come home. She had a friend, and they believe some unique things that are just simply not found in scripture. And she comes home with her eyes like literally crazy. She's like, Why do they do like what? Like all of a sudden she knew you've never talked about this. This, we haven't read this. Why? And then I go, Well, here's where they're wrong.

SPEAKER_00 46:27

That's great.

SPEAKER_01 46:28

Right. But now I get an opportunity to disciple, and I've created critical thinkers. They're not going to be easily swayed by things. Scripture even says that we will not be shaken because of the foundation of which we're built upon. Are you building your foundation of your kids upon the scriptures of daily? And this isn't like a once a week, once a month. This isn't, oh, take off when you go to family vacations. Like, oh, we're going to take a break. Like, even that's communicating the wrong thing to your kids. I'm passionate about this. I could talk for five hours. There's so many things that I've had to, and part of it too, I've had to even grow in myself. But I'll just let you guys know, my dad, devotions were like not an like not doing them was not an option. You just didn't. And I want you to let you know, because I want this podcast to try to be a little bit more on all-encompassing, and I know it's a longer one, but I just want you to understand I was 13 years old, and my dad would be like, time for Bible reading. And I hated it. Like I was just like, I was like, I want it to stop. Like I didn't love it. This was before I was saved. But I was like, I hated every moment. And even now, as a person that loves Jesus, it is work. It is an effort, by the way. You have it's not like this is gonna be this ooh, jolly moment. No, it's like every even every night, it is a we are going to do this and be dedicated to it. Um so, but for me, when I look back, I don't remember everything my dad said, but it was transformative in me coming to Christ at age 15. So do it. It's life-changing. You can do it at the dinner table. I'm a fast eater. So just like we we do it whenever we can, typically either at dinner or after, but I'm a fast eater. I have the slowest eating children and wife in the entire world. In fact, they're probably still eating at dinner at home at eight in the morning. So I eat super fast. So when I'm done, after we've had some conversation, you know, we have some dialogue, I'll just open the Bible right then, there, and it's done. Because then we get into chores and then bedtime and those things. So find where you can, carve out that time where it's comfortable. And maybe you're a guy listening. I've got a buddy who wakes his entire family up at 6 a.m. It's the only time for him to do devotions. He's got a pretty, you know, uh taxing job. It's the only time, but but he carves it out. This is important. You know, his kids stumble in sleepily and he does it. But that's the emphasis. So whatever you can do, just start to do it, please.

SPEAKER_00 48:39

Yeah. I think the fruit of that in your family and in your kids' life is absolutely worth every moment that's spent in it. Because it makes everything easier, it makes discipline easier. When you can point to scripture and point out character traits or things that God calls out, it's it's you know, haughty eyes, the seven things that the Lord hates. Like all those things that when you're memorizing scripture with them, when you're discipling them, it's not just I'm just saying this because dad say this, like this is this is what the word of God says, right? Uh it's the ultimate authority in your home. Exactly. So then then when you know, when your kids start to think critically and they've been reading scripture, they can call you out on stuff too, right? And I've had that happen to me where they're, you know, dad, oh yeah, oh 100, oh, and that's convicting too, because there's nothing that I can say that's like do what I say, not as I do, type stuff. And it's like, oh yeah, I'm sorry, you know, forgive me, right?

SPEAKER_01 49:36

I was doing devotions the other day with the kids, and it was a convicting passage about, you know, some anger. And my kids go, You did that today while I'm reading it. And I was like, Oh my gosh. So, like, it's gonna grow you, it's gonna grow your family. It's so super life-giving. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 49:53

And you don't have to like for the

Practical Ways to Start Family Discipleship

SPEAKER_00 49:56

people who think that it has to be like this well thought out of the city. Oh my gosh, no. You don't like you just have to start, like, just start reading.

SPEAKER_01 50:03

There's no plan when I get home to do devotions today, which will have them in you know, here in the next hour or so. I I know where what chapter we are in Romans, I know what day it is on that devotional, and I know which page we're gonna read it in the 10 P's in a pod. I I've not pre-read it, I've not done anything about it. So, like, it's not like I've prepped anything. I'm gonna let the word of God come at me and explain it. I will encourage you one of the thoughts that just came to mind. If you're with well, one day, you know, family or reading your own personal devotions and reading certain scriptures, I have learned like if I'm working through Matthew personally, it's probably a great place for you to do family devotions. So, whatever your Bible reading is, it is nice though that you've already read it and maybe you have some thoughts that you've kind of developed throughout the day. So that's just another little practical tool that you can do. Um, but I I I encourage you, I if you are recently married and you don't have kids yet, family discipleship, you you already have a family there. You and your wife reading the scriptures, exhorting one another, you can do that right now. Yeah, and if you're single listening to this, that hey, now you're ready for the future, dude. You're ready for when God does bring you a bride and kids, and you know right off the bat you're starting off on the right foot.

SPEAKER_00 51:14

Yeah. And because there's so much emphasis on scripture and the call for us to to lead our families and to disciple them and make disciples, and God has given us these our families, and because it's such a high value to Him, if we're faithful to bring it before our families, to read the word to them, to open up, you know, whether whether it's you're reading scripture or it's the book, there is it's not every time, but it's very common for there to be just a beautiful discussion that comes from what we're reading. Always. And it builds your bond, it builds your unity as a family. And like the questions that my kids have sometimes, it's like, you're six, you're seven. Like how are you why like where is this coming from? It's beautiful. And I think that that is something that is a gift from God to be able to help build your build each other's faith and uh deepen your relationship with the Lord. So if you're faithful to do it and you step out, God will meet you where you're at, bless your family through it. Your kids will help become they'll they'll you're modeling for them what the Bible says in a way to walk biblically, to walk as as a person of faith. So just do it, just start, just get it done. The Nike slogan, just do it. Yeah, and and it's awkward at first if

Why It Feels Awkward at First

SPEAKER_00 52:32

you haven't done it, agreed. Yeah, that's a good thing. And you're stepping out and you're like it's going to feel awkward, and that's okay, like with anything that you get started with, but you just have to do it. Yep. But after that, the first week or the second week or the third week, it you may be a month or two in. Then you start to get into that rhythm and it feels normal and it feels conversational. Cause I remember many times I'm like saying stuff, talking about the word to the kids or reading a story, and it's just crickets. Yeah. You know, or you're asking them questions and they're like, uh a God, uh, the Bible. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:07

Well, right. I think that's a good one. Just to note that, like, if you're if you're sitting here listening to this and you're like, you know, my kids are throwing cheese toast at each other and playing with dinosaurs, that's okay. Like exactly. Like if you came to my house and you saw us model family devotions, you would be like, what a complete chaos. It's not kids sitting around with halos on their head and hands folded.

SPEAKER_00 53:28

I'm usually like intentional.

SPEAKER_01 53:29

I'm usually like my 13-year-old, I'm like, put the toy down super loud. What are you doing, dude? Listen. Why are you crying? Yeah, exactly. You know, like now it's not that, you know, I've got, I mean, dude, I I have three boys. Somebody's farting. I mean, it's just like, it's not this beautiful

Real-Life Family Devotions Aren't Perfect

SPEAKER_01 53:45

service, it's but it, but it's daily life and daily discipleship.

SPEAKER_00 53:48

Yeah. And that's that's the importance thing. And you're also modeling them just the the mundane part of walking this out. Like it doesn't have to be this beautiful eloquent, it doesn't have to be revival, it doesn't have to be this. Like, this is real life, and this is how we walk it out. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:04

And you'll have kids remind you like we'll be, you know, at someone's house for dinner and we get home at like 11, and I'll be putting the kids to bed. And like, we didn't do devotions. I'm like, bro, you're just trying to stay up. Like, nice try. I know you, I know it's happening. And we did it this morning, so I gotcha. You know, but whatever. Just like you, you will even cultivate that where your kids' minds are thinking this way. Yeah, it's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 54:24

That's good. Good stuff. Awesome. Well, appreciate the word. Um, if you

Final Challenge: Just Start This Week

SPEAKER_00 54:28

got questions, if well, first I have to say this share this with somebody. Yeah, hopefully yourself.

SPEAKER_01 54:35

Yeah.

unknown 54:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:36

Listen to it again. No, agreed. I I would honestly, this might be one that you need to share with your wife.

SPEAKER_00 54:42

Yeah, and and find somebody else who you want to walk this out with. Yeah. That you guys can hold each other accountable to it because, hey, this is working for me. We've talked about this, my kids loved this. This is a book that we're reading together. Like, find a community of families or men that you can you can walk this out together with. And I think that you're all just gonna be able to encourage each other in the stuff that you're going through. So share this with somebody who you know would be blessed by it. Um, email us info at mondaymorningmen.com if you got prayer requests, things you want to talk about, you got questions, you need recommendations for books or you know, things like that. We're happy to share it. We'll try to put some that's a good thing. There's so many good resources out there, tons of them. Yeah, so get started with it, get going, and hope you're blessed by this.