Introduction: Faith, Identity & Impostor Syndrome

SPEAKER_00 0:26

Okay, welcome to Monday Morning Men. The mu the Welcome to the Monday Morning Men podcast.

SPEAKER_01 0:33

You don't you don't watch football, but there's they always announce which um university they're from, like on Monday night football. And they always say the Ohio State. It's like a big deal. Oh. So now you've started it. I like it. I didn't go to college, so same. And just like that, everybody too now. Who are these so they watch football and they don't go to college.

SPEAKER_00 0:57

Uneducated, illiterate men. Exactly. I've seen all your spelling mistakes of this. I definitely know you didn't go to college. Homeschoolers, I have the theory. Homeschoolers can't spell.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

And we don't know how to check, spell check either.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

Man, uh our goal with this podcast is to bridge the gap between your Sunday morning service and your Monday morning real life. We're both real dudes. We have jobs, we have families. We can't spell. We can't spell. Uh we love Jesus and we love his word. We want to help you uh walk it out in a practical way each week. And uh if you've got questions, if you've got prayer requests, if you want to reach out to us, what is the correct email? Because we had it wrong. And there's probably an awkward voiceover on the last like 10, nine episodes.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

It's info at mondaymorningmen.com. Okay. But there's some guy out there who's getting hit with emails. He's like, What is happening? He's like, I run a gym.

SPEAKER_00 1:58

I've emailed him uh and requested him to give us the email. Thank you. That's great. We'll see. We will see. Uh yeah, I've I've really enjoyed the last nine conversations that we've had about um all sorts of things. And this this week seems to be another good one. Um, hopefully. We'll find out. Hypocrisy. I mean, when you say hypocrisy, I'm all I'm thinking about is like the Pharisees and stuff.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

Of course. Rightfully so. Yeah. Um, this is probably gonna be a little bit different. Uh like even as I've been thinking about this and preparing for it. Um, hypocrisy in general, like you said, that's what I always think. And I think of like where I think about the the pastor that's up there preaching and he's living a double life, which is true, that is the definition of hypocrisy. So um, but it's easy to kind of view that in light of other people living that way. Uh, but for this actual episode, I'm gonna take this in a little bit different direction than probably the normal standard. It's still gonna be the same meaning behind the word, but some ways that we can apply it that maybe cut to the heart. Uh, just because I think that for us as men that are trying to walk this out practically, there's some heart issues that we need to, you know, and heart dispositions that we need to adjust. Um, as much as we want you to be, we want you to apply everything, guys. By the way, on Monday, walk it out in the week. But sometimes that application doesn't mean just doing something, it means becoming something, being transformed. We talked about this even, I think, in the introduction, you know, weeks ago. We want to be transformed. We're growing something, we're growing the fruit of our heart, we're growing a garden. We want to be transformed into the image of God. And some of that is some heart stuff. And we'll get into some practical ways that we can hopefully adjust that. But yeah, I even wrote down, I said uh the thing that everybody, the verse that comes to mind is woe to you teachers of the law, Pharisees, you hypocrites, right? You know, but we do just think it's uh uh assigned to them

The Five Types of Impostor Syndrome

SPEAKER_01 4:08

and maybe not to us. But Matthew chapter seven, you know, we love Matthew 5, 6, and 7, and obviously fruits of the spirit, real big in this podcast to us. But the the main other passage that comes to mind when we think of hypocrites, which by the way, is a hugely contested verse on Twitter, by the way, because the moment you have a you know, like a thought or an opinion about something, everybody calls into your character and you're a hypocrite. So they don't even like your truth that you're speaking, by the way. This is like, this is not where this podcast is going. But I've just, it's something that I've thought about like the moment you even have an issue, well, you're a hypocrite. As if that, you know, doesn't validate your argument. Yeah. And it's Matthew 7, 5, you hypocrite. First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. And um, I think it's important because we'll get into like why it's important for you to see clearly, but a lot of people want to use it as a relational issue between us as humans, and it is, but today I kind of even want to view it the way that we view God and our relationship with Him. Um, the Greek word, uh, it's uh hooperes, it's it sounds like you know, hypocrites in general, and it just simply means actor or state player. So it's someone like back then they used to wear masks and they would, you know, cover their face and they played multiple roles and they became, you know, they were differing characters, right? So I mean this is probably not new information, but uh that all it meant back then is you were an actor. Which uh, you know, he was just telling the Pharisees you act like you love God and you clearly don't, you know, you act like you care for your brother when you're judging him and you don't. You just want his sin or whatever to be you know revealed and you don't want to deal with your own issues. And so there's lots of great application there, and maybe down the road we will, but for me, this made it me like immediately when I thought of mask, I just think of someone deceiving or imposter. The word imposter is the kind of what I what I thought about. Um, and this is like how imposter is defined, if you were to look it up. It says a person who pretends, right, or an actor to be someone else, specifically in order to deceive others, is kind of so it is a it's not just acting, it's someone who's acting to deceive. And I think for us, like imposters is ultimately what we're calling people when we say that they're a hypocrite and they shouldn't do it, you're an imposter. And that may be true. I would encourage you that if you have that relative that is calling stuff out in your life and they are, you know, living that life that's wrong, take the validation that maybe they're saying something is true. Quit trying to judge their character and just take the information at face value. But for us today, uh, if we view that imposter and hypocrite are essentially a interchangeable synonymous word, I have a different direction I want to take this kind of in. Um, one thing as a disclaimer though, just in light of where we're coming off of, if you are living in hypocrisy, if you are walking in a way contrary to God's scripture and you know, and you know it, you know, if you're a guy and you're like, I'm walking in some secret sin, I mean, just stop. Like, like, like this is this is something that address that. Yes. Like, I don't want you to listen to this episode and ignore if God is speaking in this moment to you like and convicting your heart, like, hey, you're saying and living this way, but this specific sin, habitual sin you're dealing with, you need to stop. Um, so so that's a kind of like a clarification and a and a disclaimer before we get into this. Uh, it's not that it's not important, it's not that something that you should be talking about. It is just specifically for this episode. That's not kind of where we're heading with it. Uh, because I want to head into when I think of the word imposter, I think of the um imposter syndrome. Have you have you seen this thing? You heard about it? Yeah. It's kind of a little bit of like a viral. I I've seen people talking about it more. Everybody's talking about their emotions and everything they're going through right now. It's a subtle flex sometimes, too.

SPEAKER_00 8:19

In what way? For people like imposter syndrome. People would be like, you know, I don't, at least in my circles that I run in, people are like, they don't feel as successful as they are. And it's it's this like false humility, maybe. Yes, it's this level of false humility. That's that's how I hear it presented a lot of times. Yes. I I yeah, I could see that.

SPEAKER_01 8:38

I I think even people just being able to throw the word syndrome

Why Pride Is the Root Problem

SPEAKER_01 8:41

makes them think they're smart. And as someone who's not gone to college diagnosed, someone who's not gone to college and can't spell syndrome. I'm definitely gonna say it. But the uh I was looking, I I did, and just so you know, I have not done you know weeks of research. This is just a couple of hours. I I did read some stuff on it because it was very curious because I had heard it spoken about, and all of a sudden that correlation between the two words came to my mind. And it says that they estimate roughly 82% of all humans suffer from it. And I would argue, though, the reality is that if you understand scripture and maybe depravity and how we're born into sin, that everybody suffers from it. It's not just 82%. There's not these like 18 angelic beings walking around personally. Um but it's but it's important because this is what I think specifically as believers, we understand the gravity of our sin nature, is why it's this is kind of where I've come to this conclusion. And that we live our lives in a way that views us as impostors to some degree in the kingdom. Like if you truly understood the weight of your sin in light of Romans, in light of what you know is going on in your heart, right? That your heart at one time was wicked above all else, that it is, you know, broken. There's this sense that when we enter into the kingdom and know that all of a sudden we're a child of God, there's this sometimes this view of like, we're we're not supposed to be here.

SPEAKER_00 10:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:05

And uh and and it's okay to a degree, but we're gonna get into some other things of like what scripture says and why this is problematic. Uh, but Dr. Valerie Young, she's kind of like, if you look anything up on imposter syndrome, she's like, I guess, one of the leading voices. I don't know her. I know she's done a TED talk on it, which seems to kind of be the pinnacle for a lot of people if you're an expert on the subject. But she breaks down imposter syndrome into five ways, and I want to go through them, cast them in the light of scripture, and then give us some ways that hey, this might be me and how we can kind of correct some of this behavior, some some of this perspective that we have. Uh, the first one's the perfectionist. Uh, they set impossibly high standards. A small mistake feels like a failure. You know, I mean, I feel like by the way, I have all of these. Like disciplinary, oh my god, these are all of these certain things. Yes. Some more than others, but all these. The second one is the expert. They feel they need to know every piece of information before starting, or it feels inadequate if they don't know something. What if I just started name-dropping people that I thought struggled on this podcast? Some poor dudes listen, he's like, hey, Frank struggles with this. No, anyway, the natural genius. Um, he they believe everything should come easily. If they struggle, they feel they are not good enough. And then there's the soloist. They believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness or failure. Uh and we could we could break some of this down for hours. The superperson pushes themselves to work harder than others to prove they are not imposters, but often leading to a burnout.

SPEAKER_00 11:47

Which one of those five do you think you have identified with the last? The superperson.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

I think because I am um, I think growing up in the church and just having a dad that was a pastor and seeing a lot of it, and seeing like like I know who I am in my heart, but at the same time, it's like I also see that the how sin is so easily, you know, captures people's hearts, and and then all of a sudden they're living this life that's just uh, you know, it's it's completely contrary to God's word. It's like, well, I'm not that person, or and I know my depravity, and I want to show God that I'm worth it. Yeah, or hey, I'm a good person, you know. Um, I would say that's probably me. And and I can't, and I'm uh my buddy Jeff said this. He's like, You're the guy at the playground or the amusement parks that rides all the rides, drinks all the drinks, and then just crashes at the end. And it's true. He nailed me. I was like, that's so uncomfortable. How about you?

SPEAKER_00 12:41

I think I am the soloist. I the I can see it. Believing asking for help is a sign of weakness or failure. I don't necessarily think it's a sign for for me, it's a sign of weakness or failure. It's more of just it's easier for me to do it. Like I'll just get it done. Individualism. Yeah, it's it's more along those lines. Um yeah, and being a business owner has definitely broken me of that in a lot of ways.

SPEAKER_01 13:06

I think any of these, if you're holding on to them, if if God wants to work it, unfortunately, when he breaks you of them, it's it's it's painful. It's very painful

The Danger of Building Your Identity on Performance

SPEAKER_01 13:14

because because a lot of your identity's wrapped up in it. Um I don't know which one you guys are, but let's uh let's see what God. I mean, we always want to refer and go back to scripture and see what God's saying about it. Um, so if the perfectionist is setting impossibly high standards, right? And God has the highest standards. So it says his ways are higher than ours, right? I mean, and all of sin. But here's what Galatians 3 3 says we we're setting high standards. We feel like any mistakes, a failure. This is what Paul's writing to them. He says, How can you be so foolish? After starting your own new lives in the spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your own human effort? The reality is that we feel ourselves that we're earning his salvation, we're earning his favor. And Paul's like, I mean, it what we're doing is we're actually weakening that gift that he's given us. It's it's actually saying it's not there's not power in that grace. Yeah. Um, unfortunately, it's by our own might, and we're boasting by our own, you know, measure of success. And in Ephesians, Paul says this. I mean, he's not messing around, which I do love, because you think about Paul and all the great things he accomplished and his zealousness, and yet he understood that it is by grace. Listen to this for it is by grace you have been saved through faith, and it's not your self-effort, it's a gift, guys. It's a gift, not by works, so that no one can boast. Failure is a thing that we will have happen, but it's that we rely on Jesus and that we rest upon his rock. The perfectionist in you that wants to be perfect and not do anything wrong is not the answer. But maybe you're kind of one of those guys that I need to be the smartest one in the room, you know, the the the expert on all things. And and the I think with our ability to access more information with whether Google or AI or look things up, we feel that's actually something that is within our capacity. But I want you guys to know that scripture even talks about that we're to be like childlike, not that we're to be ignorant, not that we're not to study. We have we've done podcasts that you should be studying. But this this idea of self-reliance on the on the information that you've been given. The reason we should be well versed, by the way, when we say that 1 Peter 3:15, that you should be ready to give an answer, it's to give the answer that's in you of the gospel, not so that you're smarter than everybody else, right? Not so that you understand everything else. And to be quite frank with you, even in faith, as we walk things out in faith, you should count the cost. You should be wise, you should use discernment. But there is a sense of like at the end of the day, you still have to just trust God that your faith isn't rested upon the information you have. The faith is still ultimately resting on God. Here's first Corinthians, uh, first Corinthians eight, uh, two, it says this those who think they know something do not know as they ought to know. I mean, the reality is you're not wise in your own eyes. Proverbs says that uh, you know, every man thinks they are wise, but at the end of the day, you don't know, right? God is the revealer of all information and knowledge. First John 3 20 says this for whenever our hearts condemn us, God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything.

SPEAKER_00 16:31

This is in context for the person who's like the expert.

SPEAKER_01 16:34

Like they think they know everything, right? And and then guess what? When you don't, your heart's gonna condemn you. Hey, you didn't know this, or you don't understand this. Or when someone challenges a belief system that maybe you struggle to answer, is it not true, right? This is all of a sudden, not that you shouldn't be ready, not that you shouldn't study, you should. We all we're gonna I emphasize, please do those things. But realize at the same time that God is greater and he knows everything, and that our reliance upon our faith and our understanding ultimately comes from him, not by how smart you are, yeah, not by your ability to understand or know every nuance on every situation. You're simply not, you are a human being. And the faster that you realize that you're his ways are so much higher, and that our ways are as filthy rags as scripture says, we need his presence and we need him to be the one that's speaking to our hearts. You're not the expert in the room. God is okay, it's okay to say you don't know. You don't, oh please, seriously, or or just look at people and say, Hey, that's a great question. I I need to do some study on it. Like, yeah, I don't know. I I I personally don't feel that way. Sometimes I don't feel like I need to be the smartest in the room because I know my mouth will betray me. And so if I communicate to someone I'm the smartest, they're gonna be like, No, yeah, you be dumb. Like, oh, you're right. So that one's not mine. Uh, there is the natural genius, though, which is a little bit different, right? It's not that not the smartest. They just think everything's coming easily. That anything is anything contrary to a struggle is

Grace vs. Earning God's Approval

SPEAKER_01 18:01

is not, you know, that they're somehow not good enough, that yeah, there's something even wrong with the probably the process. I I've noticed like I have a child that's this way. And it's the legest child. Yeah, I won't say who, but it's like if it's not easy, it's like, well, you've done something, this is wrong because it should be easy because everything comes easy. First Peter 4 1 says this. I mean, we know that we're going to struggle, beloved. Do not think it's strange concerning the fiery trial, which is to try you as though some strange thing happened to you. You're not gonna be like, Why is this there? And can I encourage you for some people too? I I don't want to be careful calling calling this out for something. There are some people that when it's a struggle that God's hand isn't on it, it's like, well, this is not a blessing. It's it's too hard, so God's not in it. Like First Peter's like, yeah, what are you talking about? Like you're acting surprised. He promised trials and tribulations for us. Yeah, it's a growth of our faith. It has not this is not favor or lack of favor. So just understand, you will struggle in your life. And the faster that you embrace that it will happen and that your reaction is to rest on Jesus, the better it's gonna go for you. John 16, 33 says this in this world you will have trouble. He didn't say maybe, he guaranteed it. This is Jesus talking, by the way. But take heart, I've overcome the world. The reality is, is guys, that we don't even have to worry about things coming easy to us, good or bad. He's on top of the mountain and he's overcome it all.

SPEAKER_00 19:33

Yeah, if you if you trust the sovereignty of God, you you expect these things to happen. And whatever the outcome is, you know that he's in control.

SPEAKER_01 19:43

Yes. I mean, well, the reality is that you think that I'm you are trying to control it all, right, when it doesn't come easily. All of these are controlling and pride and based in it, but right, yeah. Jesus is the one that we're resting on, he's overcome it all. The soloist, uh, this is uh you believers asking for help is a sign of weakness or failure. I I really do struggle with this. It's not that I think this is a lot of men would struggle with this. Agree. We are pull yourselves up by your bootstraps, is my least favorite saying, probably of all time, um, because it's so contrary to scripture, but this is who we are, and we think our rough and tough, man, we're gonna fix it ourselves, but whatever. Like, dude, call a plumber, quit fixing that. Like, like you have you've made it worse. That would be my wife talking. Jeremiah 17, 5 says this. This is this is by the way, this is not what I'm saying. This is at the actual like scripture for this, so you understand this. Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh, and whose heart turns away from the Lord. Trusting yourself is so bad in so many areas. And if you're sitting here and you you may even have a problem that popped in your head right now, and you're like, I've been trying to fix it. There's nothing wrong with wisdom or strategy, but not laying it before the feet of God, super problematic. Second Corinthians 12, 9 and 10 says, But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Embrace that you need people, embrace that you need Jesus, and in that is true power. In your attempt to control and have full power, you actually remove that ability because now it's upon yourself and you control nothing. I I I may have even said this in another podcast. I was hearing this preacher talk, and I don't remember which study he was saying, but he said, I don't remember the stat, but if you believe you can and most people don't, it's like they believe they can control 50% of their lives. I think that's what he said, it was like 50%. And I I'll try to find the link and reference it below for you guys. But it's like 50% of is what we think we can control, and out of that 15%, I think he said reality is only 14%. So you actually control less in your life than even you think, knowing that you can't control everything in your life. Yeah, it's just true. God is in control, fully sovereign. The super person, and this one this one's this one hits close to home because this is me, pushes themselves to work harder than others to prove they are not imposters, uh, but leading to burnout. A really good way is a false sense of humility. It's a fault. It's just not true, but you're you're trying to uh you know uh validate yourself uh and your standing with God, and it and unfortunately it's all it's all a gift from Him. This is Galatians uh 2.16. That a person is not justified by the works of the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we too have put our faith in Christ Jesus that we may be justified by faith in Christ, and not by works of the law, but because by the works of the law no one will be justified. It's not by my own merit in which I will walk into the kingdom. It's not by my own merit that I find success in uh, you know, the fruit of the spirit that all of a sudden I am learning to be more patient. It's not by my just we are calling men to action. We want you to apply it this week, but realize even in your application, it is by his grace that you're able to apply this and to grow from it. Romans 11, 6 says, and by and if by grace, then it cannot be based on works. If it were grace, if it were grace, it would no longer be grace. So the reality is you've you've minimized the gift and it's just you've actually invalidated it. It doesn't exist anymore the moment you think it's upon you. Again, just because I I know how men's minds work, this isn't that you're not supposed to walk in obedience and faithfulness and walk in self-discipline and apply these things. It's saying, but that is not the mare in which you are earning God's love. You do that because you love God, not trying to earn God's love. Two different things. Corinthians 15, 10 says, But by the grace of God, I am what I am, and his grace towards me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, which is true. I mean, this is Paul saying, I worked harder than all of you, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is in me. Out of all the things he's done, he's written. I mean, the the yeah, the way the church operates is in large part to what he's written. Yeah. You know, he wrote the most books in the Bible. We call him the super apostle sometimes, who he is, and he's like, Yeah, it's not because of me. There's nothing. In fact, the other verse he says, I'm the worst of the lot. It's because of his grace. We are children of the king, we're covered by the blood of the lamb. Um it's because of all that he's done and all that he has uh sacrificed for us that we're able to walk with the confidence that we are. And I just want to give a little story and example of what it really means to be this way. I was at a uh a buddy's wedding, and it was so crazy because like, and if just so you guys know, as you walk out your Christian faith, if you're looking for opportunities to let God actually reveal something to you, He will. God wants you to teach you something, God wants you to grow. So we're at this wedding, and it's uh and it's funny because I'm friends with both the dad and the son, and the dad is really put together and and just kind of a-type personality, and I respected him so much, he decided to let his son uh, because uh my understanding is that the the son's wife was parents weren't really involved, they were a little bit uh financially strapped, so like they the my buddy is a little bit more well off, so they paid for the wedding,

The Wedding Story That Changed Everything

SPEAKER_01 25:46

so they had every reason to control some of that aspect of it, but instead basically gave his son the money and said, You guys plan the wedding. And uh both are middle children, and there was no plan, and I I mean no plan. I in my life, there were like I had to be three or four hundred people there, and it was a dinner wedding, and so it started to rain, so they had to pull all the chairs in there. So, anyway, we do the wedding, it's a dinner wedding, we're all getting our food, and as we're getting our food, 300 plus people, by the way, there are no tables. None, not even like, not even like, oh, you have to go sit somewhere else. Like, they just forgot them. There's no planning. And watching my my my buddy, the dad, just like not saying a word, eating it, and just being like, I would have never done this. I respected him so much. If you're a dad, quit trying to control, let your kids be kids, and I people respect you for it. But anyway, so there were no tables except for one. I mean, it was a like one of those eight by eight, like folding tables or eight by two, whatever they are. And it was uh right outside where everybody was eating, and there was this patio that was covered and it was still kind of drizzling a little bit and just like raining off and on. So everybody's like pushed up against the house. We're like trying to be under this awning, trying to not get wet. And this table is there, and it only holds what, maybe eight people. And there's people sitting there, and so I get my food, I'm like under the awning, watching these people trying to cut my chicken. It was really hard, by the way. It was like cut them in pieces, and these are the only people at a table. And so I'm watching them and they they eat the entire time there. They don't hurry and eat and just say someone else grab it. They just eat the entire time. And I was like, what in the world? Like, I I my mind is blown. Well, I get through my chicken, mostly with my hands, and they start the first dance, which is happening right there in front of me on this like kind of courtyard patio where this table is. So everybody kind of gets in a big circle and spreads out. The people at this table don't move. And it's like it's like chicken and pasta. And this one guy, I was watching him, he's just pounding the pasta and just like eating as my buddy's dancing with his wife. The table is like, they're like up against almost the table. They don't move it, they don't move their food. Just it's like you would have thought it was their house, their table, and a wedding just happened to be happening there. And I'm watching it, going, the lack of self-awareness by people is crazy. And I'm I'm utterly dumbfounded. And I have another buddy standing beside me, and I was like, Can you believe that? He's like, That's crazy. We're just like watching them, and like everybody is a little bit at this point, and they're just still eating. Somehow they're still eating. The rest of us have hurried, they're still eating, and my buddy's dad comes up to me, and um, he's upset, and he he leans over to us and he goes, What in the world? And I'm like, I don't know what to tell you, dude. I was like, they have not moved. He's eating the one guy had gotten up for seconds. I mean, just anyway, he goes, and he looks at both me and my other my other buddy, and he goes, I mean, seriously, like, who do you think you are? And my other buddy, not realizing the impact that it would have on me, he goes, Well, they know the groom, and they're

"I Know the Groom" — Confidence Through Christ

SPEAKER_01 29:21

friends of the groom. And the that it didn't shut down the conversation we were talking, but in that moment, my mind immediately went, One day I'm gonna stand before the king, and the audacity that I'm there as an imposter, and yet I get to say, I know the groom because I'm gonna stand before God, and he's gonna be on what merit do you stand here? On what merit do you think that you get to come into my kingdom as a complete hypocrite, as a complete imposter, as you stand before me, what gives you the right? And I go, I not only have the right to be here, I have full confidence because I'm covered by the blood. And when he said that in that moment, I I told the boys later, I was like, this had a you don't realize the impact it had on me because I get to walk in it. And I just I think to ourselves, like, we don't realize the confidence in which we get to walk. We try to lift ourselves up, but we get to be like those ridiculous people at that wedding because of God's sufficient grace. Yeah, God's love. It is audacious who we are and yet how much he loves us. So, with that in mind, let's get into some application for you guys this week. I'm hoping this is ministering to you and maybe pricking some things in your heart and even just being grateful for all that God has done. Um, but first, as the disclaimer, we started out with look, if you're struggling with some sin in your life, some secret sin that you know

Practical Steps Toward Freedom

SPEAKER_01 30:51

you're not supposed to be walking in, confess it to someone, accountability partner, somebody. Confess it, confess it to God and walk in repentance, and that will ultimately lead to your deliverance and your healing. Um so whatever you're thinking, whatever's just kind of popped in your mind right now, and you know it. God, God uses that. Whatever popped in your mind, deal with it. But if you struggle with one of the other five imposter syndromes, whatever, whatever you maybe identified uh kind of as yourself, um, and and we all are struggling with it. So I would take some time. If you didn't, something didn't resonate with you, go ahead and just figure out what it is. But get to the root of who you are and the identity in which you're walking in. Realize the foundation of all of them, though, are rooted in pride and challenge that pride. And then once you realize this is what I'm struggling with, if you're a super person, right? Confess it to God. Confess those shortcomings. Repentance is always right, repentance always leads to healing. Then allow God to place people and opportunities in your life to heal you. He always uses practical things to ultimately walk us in an identity that is following him. God has always used your problems or your frustrations in a way to stretch us. We know that's why he does, uh he allows trials and tribulations to come our way. So for the perfectionists, maybe find a way this week to give some grace to someone. I've learned if I can't extend grace

How Each Impostor Type Can Grow

SPEAKER_01 32:19

because I don't extend grace to myself. So, like, one thing, and Lord willing, my wife doesn't listen to this podcast, but my wife is habitually like late, late. And it just I have no time for it, literally, and no grace. And it, I get so upset. If people want to like, what's your biggest struggle in your marriage? I mean, I don't miss a beat. It's her being late. But I have been practicing myself to be gracious to her, to come and help her and to not get upset. And in that, I'm starting to give myself some grace. Not grace to walk in sin or to be unkind to people or to not. I'm talking about grace and things that are outside of your control or things that, hey, we're all human, you know, we're not perfect. But if you're the expert, James 1.19 says, be slow to speak and quick to listen. So I would encourage you one, maybe talk less this week, or call a friend that you know disagrees with you about something and hear their side. You don't have to be the expert or and just be like, or I don't know this information. Give kudos to someone that maybe knows something you don't and listen to their opinion about it, right? Ask questions. Ask questions. Like these are really practical things you guys can apply today. There's the natural genius, right? Work on the weakness that you know you're struggling with, quit ignoring it. That's what natural geniuses do. I'm just not going to even think about it. And then confess where I'm struggling with it, and then have someone hold you accountable. I've I've said it before, like praying with my wife is something I want to do better. And so I have accountability partners that are holding me accountable to that. Confess it and then walk in, you know, hopefully some victory this week. Uh, the soloists, if you're if you're the Josh Swartz of the world, actually, if you're just a red-blooded American man, this is simple. Ask for help, right? You know something you need help with, and it could be anything. It could be emotional, it could be spiritual, it could be physical. But here's the here's the kicker. Because when I think about myself, it's not that I won't ask you for help. I don't want to owe you. So I will repay you. Or I only ask for help knowing I can repay you, or I only ask for help after I've already done something for you. Ask someone where you owe them. And don't remove the opportunity for them to be blessed by blessing you. That's a really hard pill to swallow. Like, I don't mind helping my wife, but she helps me, you know, it's vice versa. But it's like, what if you help some, what if someone helps you though, and you can't repay them back? That's super hard, by the way. And for people like me, stop trying to be better than other people. This is not a, you know, when we talk about the race, it's racing, it's running to Jesus, not so you can see where everybody else is in the race. We can't earn God's favor, which is probably why that story I just mentioned to you impacted me so much because I realized I'm like, I'm the guy that thinks he's earned a right at the table. And I don't, but I'm earn, but I am there because of God's grace. One practical area is to remove something in your life that you know you can get rid of, like a time that you're filling that you think is profitable, and instead replace it with prayer. Here's here's what I mean by that. Like I know men that are like, well, I'm gonna listen to this podcast all the time so I can improve my information, knowledge, and grow and blah, blah, blah, blah. Right. It's like this moving forward pattern, which is a good thing, but prayer challenges that. All of a sudden it's like, wow, instead of listening to something where I'm growing and I'm getting better, it's like, I'm just gonna take this time to just show my reliance on God as a pell as opposed to self-improving. That's uh I know that sounds

Replacing Self-Reliance with Prayer

SPEAKER_01 35:49

weird, but if you're a self-improving person, you know what I'm saying right now. It's like, ugh, it almost feels like a waste of your time. Yeah. And that that's hard. So you can even get ahead of this when this podcast end, don't play the next thing, just sit there and pray and thank God. But just in light of all this, you know, we like to close with a quote. Why wouldn't we let Paul quote us out in Hebrews 4 6 16? And this is just kind of even in light of the example I gave with the story with my buddy. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in a time of need. The reality is, guys, we were imposters. We are no longer impostors, and the reason that we're no longer impostors is because we're covered by the grace, not because of anything you've been doing. So, some things to walk out this week, some things that we can apply.

SPEAKER_00 36:46

That's good stuff. Um one thing I would add to this is we often like fill our time so much with so much. Yep, social media, like every ounce of time is we don't want to waste, right? And there is so much to just spending time in silence and thinking, going for a walk, like leaving your phone. Um and I find myself more more and more now like just taking extended time to just sit and think and like sit in silence. It's allowing me time to process things and just think through problem solving. And like if you're constantly filling your attention and distraction and you know, your schedule's full and all these things because you're trying to like maximize your time, you're not really giving space for silence for prayer, meditation for the Lord to speak to you, things like that. Um, so that's one thing. But the one thing I wanted to ask you is, you know, you mentioned these five different, you know, struggles that people may have as being um uh a false, false uh representation of who they are. What do you think some of the bad fruit is for somebody who may not be able to recognize this in their own life? What do you think some

The Bad Fruit of Impostor Syndrome

SPEAKER_00 38:08

of the like the fruit is when you're walking in these identities?

SPEAKER_01 38:13

Well, if you can't recognize it, I would say already you're probably struggling with all five, probably pretty heavily at that point. Because you think individually, I've got this, I am the super person, I know what I'm talking about. I'm the expert, I'm the natural genius. A lot of this is gifted to me, whatever it is. Um, I think a lot of that bad fruit. This, you know, it's easy to say this because it sounds like a normal Christianism, but the reality is when you struggle with some of these things, what you tend to do is you tend to have a lot of secret said. You open yourself up to some sort of, and and obviously guys want to address that as like pornography, and that is yes, that's a great way of doing it, but the secret scent of pride, the this, the secret scent of just um I'm better than other people, uh, criticizing them. Uh like a sh when we say extremely critical spirit, I'm not talking about a discerning or a or one that's walking in truth. I'm talking about you just I'm better than you kind of mentality. Um you will see it, you typically are typically a super argumentative person. Uh that there's no room for grace or humility or love or correction or discipline. You'll probably struggle to grow. Uh, I I've had a lot of men, like one of the things I've been thinking about, um, this doesn't challenge me is a real popular quote. And sometimes, right? Sometimes the information isn't, but I'm like, you can find the truth in just about everything, and God can use a lesson for anything. So at that point, I'm like, I think you just think you've graduated. So, so there's lots of ways that it can. I mean, there's so many, we could break this down for a while. There's so many areas. I think that if you have any sort of self-awareness and you're listening to this and you're walking in some sort of humility, there's definitely something you're pointing out. Absolutely. And you know the fruit in which I know for me, it's my my schedule's too full. It just is. Yeah. You know. For you, you know, what what is something that maybe you're you know, what it could be something you're not asking for help in, maybe taking too much on in the office, yeah, not delegating or something, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:09

I I mean there's there's aspects of each of these that I could say, apply correction. 100% same. This is good stuff. Appreciate uh appreciate you sharing. Yeah. Um cool.

Final Challenge: Walk in Grace This Week

SPEAKER_00 40:22

With that, you know, share this with somebody who you think may be struggling with these five areas.

SPEAKER_01 40:29

Wait for 52 episodes of us just saying share this and laughing. Because nobody will. That's amazing. I love it. No, it's true. Maybe, maybe you do. Maybe I I always encourage your accountability partner or the guy you're walking in love, share this with them, walk it out together.

SPEAKER_00 40:44

With the right healthy relationship, you know, you're building each other up, you're strengthening each other. Share it, right? Um, you know, don't share this in a spiteful way to somebody. I'm not getting those emails. Yeah. Uh email us at infotmondaymorningmen.com if you want to uh reach out to us, send uh prayer requests, topics that you want to have covered, if you got questions about some of the stuff that we covered. And uh with that, we'll see you next week.